If You Only Knew
by kjs2259
Summary: NO SHADOWHUNTERS Jace and Clary are best friends, but Jace is secretly in love with Clary. Can he tell her before it's too late? Does she feel the same?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I am not the awesome Cassandra Clare, so I do not own this series :(**

CPOV

"Clary!"

Clary turned her head and saw, none other than Jace Lightwood coming towards her. She grinned.

"Hey Lightwood!"

Clary and Jace had been best friends since they were basically babies. Isabelle and Alec, Jace's brother and sister, were also their best friends.

"I've been looking for you everywhere! Where've you been?" Jace asked

"Simon and I were just hanging out at Nacho Mama. Why were you looking for me?"

A quick look of something Clary couldn't comprehend flashed across Jace's face but then it was gone. "I just got back from football and wanted to know if you wanted to hang out…"

"Yeah sure! Let me just go get my shoes on. I'll be right back." Clary promised.

JPOV

After Clary went up the stairs, Jace cursed silently. He hated when she hung out with Simon. Sure Simon was OK..when he wasn't around Jace's Clary. _Whooooaa. Possesive much? She's not even yours. She will never be yours because she's just your friend. Just your friend. _He thought bitterly over and over. Clary would never want more with him, but damn. He'd been in love with her for years. It seemed everyone else could see it. Isabelle, Alec, Magnus….but she was totally clueless to his overwhelming feelings for her.

"Earth to Jace…" Clary whispered. God, she was so close to him he just wanted to kiss her. But no., he thought. _Just friends._ "Dreaming about Aline again, Jace?"

_As if I could think about anyone but you._ "Haha no. Daydreaming about food I guess. I'm starving."

"Aren't you always? Come on let's go." Clary smiled before taking his hand and leading him down the street.

**Like? Don't like? Review ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I made this chap a little longer since the last one was so short. Anyways enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I am not the awesome Cassandra Clare, so I do not own this series :(**

CPOV

"How was school today Clary?" Her mom asked.

"Same old same old." Clary noticed for the first time what her mother was wearing. A nice black top, dress pants, and heels. This was unusual for her to ever see her mother THIS dressed up. "Why are you dressed up? Where are you going?"

"Am I dressed up?" Clary's mom tried to act all innocent.

"Well you don't have your overalls on, or anything with paint on it." Clary grinned. "You look nice."

"Thanks Clary," her mom shot her a grateful smile. "But I am actually going somewhere tonight..Do you remember Luke Garroway? He owns the bookstore on Kent Avenue?"

Clary thought. Of course she remembered him. He was really nice. "Yeah, why?"

"Well, I was down there the other day, looking for you, since you and Jace sometimes go there. And he asked me out to dinner tonight."

_Ohhh THATS why she's all dressed up and nervous. She likes Luke!_ "Are you sure it's not too soon Mom? It's only been two years since Dad died.."

Her Mom smiled grimly, as if she expected this. "Clary, I think your Dad would want me to be happy, don't you?" She seemed to think carefully, before adding, "I'll always love your Father Clary, always. I'll never forget him. I promise."

"I know you wont, Mom. Have fun with Luke. You deserve some fun."

"Thank you sweetie. I love you." And she rushed out the door. Clary only thought a moment before going out the door herself, knowing exactly where she needed to go.

**********

"Clary?" Jace opened the door. "Hey, come on in."

They settled into the chairs in his room. They talked mindlessly for a few minutes before Jace said, "What's wrong Clary? I can tell when somethings wrong with you. You act all weird. Well actually you act weird all the time, but you act even weirder when you're upset." He grinned

"Thanks Jace! Every girl just loves to be called weird!"

"You're welcome my sarcastic friend. Anyway, whats up?"

Clary bit her lip before saying, "My Mom went out on a date tonight.."

"You're Mom went out on a date? Does she even have a shirt that's not stained with paint?" He smiled. Clary suddenly realized, he had a pretty smile. And pretty eyes. _Wait what? He's your best friend._ She shook her head to get rid of the illusion.

"I guess so. And stop making fun of her obsessive painting."

"Ohhh touchy much? She's just as obsessive as you with your drawing.." Seeing her glare he backtracked immedietly "I mean you're both very good at what you do. Anyway, who'd she go on a date with? Some rapist or something? You seem really upset by it."

"No, she went out with Luke Garroway." She bit her lip again before saying, "I really do like him, but it seems like my Dad just died, you know?"

"Clary, it's been two years since your Dad died. You and your Mom should move on with your life."

"I get that, I really don't even know why I'm that upset--I just--" She broke off as a few tears moved down her cheek. "I just miss him so much and I--and I--"

"Shh Clary it's ok. It's ok" Jace gathered her into his arms and held her against his chest until the sobs quieted.

JPOV

Holding her in my arms just felt so right. Like it was meant to be. But, all too soon she pulled away, wiping her eyes hastily.

"Thank you Jace, you're the best friend I could ever ask for. Really." _Friend._

"I know," He smirked. "I'll always be there whenever you need me. I promise Clary."

"I'll always be there for you too, Jace" She got up and hugged him. He noticed the hug lasted a little longer than usual. He suddenly had the urge to tell Clary everything. About how he was in love with her. About how he wanted nothing more than to be more than friends with her. He wondered if maybe, just maybe she felt the same way. Oh, well. He thought. It's now or never.

"Clary I need to tell you some---" He was cut off by his room door being pushed open. There in the doorway, stood Isabelle. _She always comes in at the wrong times. "_Ever heard of knocking Izzy? It's actually considered the polite thing to do instead of just barging into someone's room." He snapped.

"Sorry Jace," She went out of the room, closed the door, and knocked.

"Get your ass back in here." He said. When she walked in smirking he said, "Real funny Isabelle."

"Why thank you, " she smiled and looked at Clary. Clary, who was just crying 5 minutes ago was now laughing hysterically at the little exchange between Jace and Izzy. And seeing her laugh, made Jace smile too. " Come on Clary. We're going out tonight."

Clary rolled her eyes. "Are we now Izzy? And I can only assume you barged in here so you could dress me up like a little Barbie doll."

"That is correct. And Jace, you're coming too. So PLEASE be ready in an hour, ok?

He sighed. She was taking his Clary away."Yes Isabelle, I'll be ready in an hour."

"Swear it?"

"Swear what?"

"That you'll be ready in an hour!"

"God, Izzy. I swear I'll be ready in an hour. It wont even take me that long to get ready. Some of us don't need an hour to get beautiful" He grinned.

"Whatever. Goodbye Jace!" She stomped out of the room, dragging Clary with her. _This is going to be a long night._

CPOV

After an hour of dress up, and makeovers, the girls were ready. Clary had on a VERY short black dress with bright red shoes on. Iz, of course looked amazing as always. She had on a short yellow dress and black pumps that Clary could never pull off. She was sitting at the bar, watching Izzy and Simon dance when her favorite song came on.

"Would you like to dance?"

She looked up to find herself immersed in a very familiar pair of eyes.

**:) Thank you Julia and Jeanie for your support :D review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok, so I just wanted to clear a few things up before writing.**

** and Clary are NOT in any way related. There's no Jonathon either. And Sebastian isn't evil. (Well some of you might think he is because of how I'm going to write him)**

**2. Here are the ages: Jace 18. Clary 17. Alec 18. Magnus 18. Isabelle 17. Sebastian 17. Simon 17.**

**3. And the song that's playing in the begining of the chapter is Miserable At Best:Mayday Parade. It's awesome listen to it :)  
**

**Disclaimer: I am not the awesome Cassandra Clare, so I do not own this series :(**

CPOV

She blinked. And looked at those eyes again. They looked like his but it couldn't be..."Sebastian?!"

He smiled, "Hey Clary."

"What happened? I thought you were going to that fancy private school up in Maine. I thought--"

He tugged her arm, "Questions later, Clary. I want you to dance with me. Will you?"

"Of course I will," She said, smiling as he led me out onto the dance floor. He put his arms around her waist, and she put her hands around his neck.

"So how have things been Clary?" He kept staring at me intensely.

"Good. What about you?"

"I haven't seen you in 7 years and all you say is good? Wow Clary." He grinned.

She couldn't help but smile back at him, "Sorry your highness. I guess I'm thinking why you're even here."

"Ouch, Clary. Didn't know you were that unhappy to see me." He put on a sad face.

She smacked his arm. "Of course I'm happy to see you!"

"Ok..well I guess I believe you," He smiled. "Anyway I got kicked out of that boarding school at Maine."

This surprised her. Sebastian had always been the goody-two-shoes of their group. "You..what?!"

"I said I got kicked out of--"

"I don't mean that. I mean how? Why?"

"Why not? Maybe I was just desperate to see you again. You look so beautiful, Clary."

This made her blush. She couldn't meet his eyes right now. She was too embarrassed. Her eyes searched, and found Jace Lightwood glaring. There were sparks in the air when their eye met. Was he glaring at her? At Sebastian? Why? How could he be mad at her let alone Sebastian? They hadn't seen him in--

"Earth to Clary..." Sebastian broke out of her reverie. "The songs over. Want to dance to the next one?"

She smiled, glad to have her friend back again. "Sure, Sebastian."

JPOV

He was just about to ask Clary to dance. Actually he was halfway there. But a dark haired boy that looked vaguely familiar made it there first. He knew this was Clary's favorite song. And now it related to this little situation perfectly.

_You're probably hanging out and making eyes_  
_While across the room he stares_  
_I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor_  
_And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes_

He sighed. She did say yes. They were now dancing. When Clary had her back to him, he met the familiar boy's eyes. Ah! That's were he knew him from. It was Sebastian Verlac. Althought Jace had no clue what he was doing here of all places._ He must be stalking us or something._ He was supposed to be up in Maine or Vermont or somewhere like that to some fancy little prep school. Jace had always hated him. He didn't realize he was glaring until Clary met his eyes with his shocked expression. When their gaze met, he could feel sparks. He turned away when Clary did, and made his way to Alec and Magnus. When Magnus saw him, he could see the fury rolling off of him.

"Here comes our own Little Mr. Sunshine," He smirked.

"Shut up, Maggie."

"How many times have I told you NOT to call me Maggie?!"

"Shut the fuc--"

Alec interupted before the fighting could really get out of hand. "What's wrong Jace?"

But Jace saw Clary come towards them, and shut up. She bounced up, looking ridiculously cheery. She pulled Sebastian after her, and Izzy and Simon.

"Hey guys! Look who I found!" Magnus and Alec's eyes widened.

"Sebastian?" They both asked at the exact same time.

The little rat smiled. "Hey guys, hey Jace."

"Why the hell are you here?" Jace snapped.

"Got kicked out of boarding school." Sebastian snapped back.

"For what not tying your shoes?" Jace knew he was being mean, but he didn't care.

"No for kicking some guy's ass." Sebastian glared at him.

"Ha-ha! I doubt you could do that." Jace challenged him.

"You wanna bet, Lightwood?"

"Sure Verlac. I could take you any day."

"Fine. Right now."

"Guy stop it--" Clary cut in.

"Right. Let's go outside."

**Ohhhh! Who do you want to win? Jace or Sebastian?? P.S.-Sorry it took me so long to update! I went to a 3oh!3/Cartel Concert! So pleasee review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm updating again, just because I can't wait! Haha :) **

**Disclaimer: I am not the awesome Cassandra Clare, so I do not own this series :(**

CPOV

Sebastian followed Jace outside of the club. She froze for a second, before her mind finally started working again. _Oh shit._ She ran after them, hearing Isabelle, Simon, Alec, and Magnus behind her. She found them out back, already into it. "Stop!" She screamed. But they wouldn't stop. Jace already had a bloody nose, as did Sebastian. When they separated for a split second, Clary took that time to jump in between them. "Stop it!" She cried. "You guys can't hurt each other anymore without going through me!" Both of them froze.

"Clary..please--" Jace started.

"Shut up Jace!" He looked at her as if she had hit him. Her own heart stung in response, but she kept going. "You're the one that started all of this! Why can't you just play nice? What is your problem?" She screamed. She turned to Sebastian. "You shouldn't have given into this! Now you're both all bloody, just so you could prove that you're tougher than the other! Well I hope you're happy, because I think you're both assholes!" Jace started towards her, but she skittered back. "Don't touch me, Jace Lightwood." And she ran.

JPOV

She ran away from me. Everyone stood there, for a moment, shocked. It was Magnus, of course to break the silence.

"Well you have a problem there, Jace."

"You think, Maggie?"

Isabelle cut in. "I'm going to go find her," She started, "And please don't come, Jace. Or Sebastian. I think she's upset with you guys enough already." She turned and went the way Clary had gone. He looked at Sebastian.

"You're a better fighter than I gave you credit, Verlac." Sebastian looked shocked at this. "I didn't say you were good, I just thought I would twist your arm and you'd fall down crying, like the old days."

Sebastian looked tired. "Just shut up. Just shut up Jace. You screwed up everything between Clary and I. Everything."

Jace felt a flash of anger. "I screwed up everything between YOU and Clary? I don't think she'll even talk to me anymore! She's my best friend. Not yours!"

"I was going to ask her out you jackass! She's never going to say yes to me now!"

"If you ask her out, Verlac, you'll have a lot more to deal with then a bloody nose." And with that Jace turned, and walked away.

************2 hours later***************

"Hey this is Clary, I'm not here right now obviously, so leave a message--" Jace hung up. That was his twentieth time calling her. And she wasn't picking up. They've never had a fight before. It had always been easy for them to be friends, their thoughts had always been so in tune with each other. He had been such an idiot. Obviously she cared a lot about Sebastian, she'd made that clear. He just needed to see her. Just once. Just to apologize for his behavior. Sebastian had it coming, but he had hurt her. God, he always made it a point not to hurt her. Whatever he did, he always thought of Clary first. But tonight he hadn't thought. He had gone impulsively and let his stupid jealousy get the best of him. Should he go to her? He mulled over this for a few minutes. He didn't know if Clary would even come see his face, he didn't even know if it was going to get that far, he had Izzy to deal with. _Greeeaaat._ But Izzy didn't matter to him right now. He had to go see Clary.

CPOV

Clary sat there, eating ice cream. "Izzy, I have two new best friends," she mumbled. "Ben and Jerry. They're yummy."

Isabelle laughed. "Does that mean they replace me?"

"No, they could never replace you. They might replace Jace though. He was such an idiot." Clary said angrily.

"You know its not all Jace's fault. Sebastian didn't have to go out and fight him," Seeing Clary's glare she added, "I'm just saying, Clary. Don't put it all on Jace. You mean a lot to him. I just think he got...uh overprotective."

"Why did you just stutter?" Clary demanded.

"I didn't stutter."

"Yes you did. You stuttered on overprotective," Clary said.

"I..uh--" Isabelle was cut of by three sharp knocks on the door.

"I got it." Clary pulled herself up from the went to the door, opened it, and saw Jace there. Clary almost shut the door on his face. "What do you want?" She snapped.

"Clary, I'm really sorry."

"That's all you have to say? You're sorry?" She said quietly.

"What do you want me to say, Clary?"She still wouldn't look at him, and he took her chin in his hand, and tilted her head up. "Look at me, Clary." Their eyes met and stayed there. Clary unconsciously leaned closer, as did Jace. Clary's eyes slowly slid shut. Their lips met for a split second--

"Clary!" Isabelle called. "Who's there?" Clary snapped back to reality. She blinked at Jace, shocked. She had almost kissed him! Why?

"You're forgiven," She said quickly, "Now please leave."

"Clary--" Jace started.

"I said leave. I forgive you Jace, I really do," She smiled, "I just need some time to think. I don't know what--what that was."

Jace hesitated, "Please, just call me, Clary." And he left.

When Clary shut the door, she sunk down to the floor. For the second time tonight, she thought, _Oh shit._

**Tell me if you like it! Anyone who has ideas for the next chapter, feel free to shout 'em out! Review!**_  
_


	5. Chapter 5

**Heyy! I'm trying to update as much as I can, but this is a really busy time for me! So sorry if the updates are kinda random :) Anywayy..I really hope you like this chapter! :)  
**

**Disclaimer: I am not the awesome Cassandra Clare, so I do not own this series :(**

CPOV

"Who was that at the door?" Isabelle asked while shoveling down ice cream.

"Uh..." Izzy looked up at Clary questionably.

"Clary..who was it?"

"Just some..salesguy." Clary said without much enthusiasm.

"Bullshit Clary. I know when you're lying and you're DEFINITELY lying." _Crap. _Clary thought._ My thoughts must be written all over my face._

_"_Izzy, it was Jace." Clary spilled. Immediately she put her hand over her mouth. She hadn't meant to say it! Now she was going to have to tell Izzy the whole story. Including THE kiss.

"Jace?" Isabelle said with a confused expression. "I told him not to come here.."

Clary sighed. "It gets a lot more complicated than that, Isabelle."

Isabelle groaned, "What happened Clary? You look like you just saw a ghost."

"Izzy," Clary hesitated. "I'll tell you the whole story. But you have to promise not to get your hopes up."

"Whatever," Isabelle rolled her eyes. "Just tell me what happened already."

"And, you can't tell anyone. Not even Simon."

"Wow," Izzy looked surprised. "This must be worse than I thought."

"It is," Clary winced. "So Jace came over and he said he was sorry. I guess I wouldn't look at him, and the next thing I knew we were leaning towards each other..and then our lips touched--"

"Oh my God!" Izzy squealed, "You guys kissed?"

Clary sighed again. She knew this would happen if she told Isabelle. "Barely Izzy. And I don't even know why in the first place! I mean I didn't plan it out or anything..and I don't think..I feel that way about him. He's my best friend."

"Clary, if you can't see that you and Jace are absolutely perfect for each other, then you're completely blind."

Isabelle's words weren't making sense to Clary. "What?"

"Everyone can see he's in love with you. I'm just surprised you still haven't noticed it yet."

"He loves me? I--I can't imagine why."

Isabelle rolled her eyes. "You make Aline and all those other girls that are interested in him look like nothing. I always thought you felt the same way."

"Izzy, he's my best friend--"

Isabelle let out a frustrated sigh. "Clary you don't think I know that? All I'm saying is he wants more with you. And I think you should take it. I mean honestly, have you ever been as close to another boy as you are with Jace?"

Clary thought. She'd always relied on Jace. He was always there for her. She never had to get close with anyone else. "Well, no but--"

"And God knows you haven't dated anyone seriously before..because you always compare them to Jace, don't you?"

Clary was so frustrated, she was on the verge of breaking out in tears. "Izzy, just listen. I love Jace ok?"

Isabelle looked satisfied. "Good! Then--"

Clary cut her off. "But not the way you mean. Not yet. I'm not ready for that yet."

"So what are you going to do, Clary? You can't just hide from him. You guys kissed."

"I'll go see him then, tomorrow."

Isabelle bit her lip. "I don't know Clary, he's going to be crushed."

"I can't loose our friendship, Izzy. I can't loose him."

"See!" Izzy screamed so loud Clary had to cover her ears. "You do love him! If you didn't, you wouldn't feel like this! Please Clary, just give it a chance."

Clary considered a minute. "Ok, Isabelle. I've decided what I'm going to do."

JPOV

We kissed. We actually kissed. It was all I dreamed it to be, if Isabelle hadn't interrupted just as I kissed her. Honestly, that girl and her awful timing. But after the kiss is what confused Jace the most. Clary looked almost like..she regretted it? She couldn't regret it. They belonged together. But if she wanted to not be together, what would he do? What if she didn't even want to be friends? He couldn't deal with that. But he loved her. He'd figured that a long time ago. Probably in seventh grade when there was a dance. Isabelle was obsessed all day with looking just right. She'd pulled Clary in and done her up to. When Clary came out, Jace had almost gasped in shock.

_Flashback_

_Clary came out,all in white. She looked like an angel. Jace thought suddenly. This shocked him. He knew he had liked Clary for a long time, but at that moment he knew he loved her. And he would love her forever. _

_End of flashback_

For the first time in a while, Jace fell asleep with a smile on his face.

**********

THE NEXT DAY:

Jace woke up to his door being pounded on. He opened it. "What?"

Izzy looked impatient. "Clary's downstairs. She says she wants to talk to you."

This shot a rush of energy through Jace. He pushed past Izzy, and ran downstairs. Clary was there. She had dark shadows under her eyes, and looked like she had been awake all night. But Jace had never seen her look so beautiful. Clary glanced up as he walked in, and bit her lip. She blushed slightly, and Jace did in response.

"Hey, Clary."

"Hey Jace. I need to talk to you about last night.."

**Ohhh cliff! What do you want Clary to tell Jace? Friends/More than friends?? Review pleasee!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, so I put A LOT of thought in this chap. It was so hard to write! Anyway, make sure you tell me if you like! :) Enjoyy :D  
**

**Disclaimer: I am not the awesome Cassandra Clare, so I do not own this series :(**

JPOV

"What do you want to talk about?" He said as calmly as he could.

"About that kiss." She brought it up. There was no pretending it didn't happen now.

"Clary.."

"Jace. I don't know what that was. But, I hope you realize it meant nothing more." She said formally.

"You don't want to be _friends?"_ He said, shocked.

Clary looked shocked, too. "No, no of course I want to be more than friends. Not the..other stuff though."

_I have to tell her._ "Clary. I want to."

"To what?" Clary asked.

"I want to be more with you."

CPOV

_This is it. _Clary thought. _He's going to hate me forever. What if he doesn't even want to be friends? I can't do that. I love him. A lot. But he can do better than me. Oh well..it's now or never._

"Jace--" She started.

"Clary, let me tell you first. I love you. I've loved you as long as I can remember." To hear him say those words, almost tore her heart out. She loved him so much, but she just couldn't ruin everything.

"Jace, you just think you love me. You can do so much better than me, really."

"Clary, I need you. I can't be just your friend. It's killing me."

Clary bit her lip. She had to let him go. "Jace, one day you're going to find somoene, and she's going to be so beautiful, and good. You're going to fall for her. And she'll be so much better for you than I am."

Jace's eyes searched her face. "Clary, I've already found that person. It's you."

"No, it's not."

"Goddamn it, Clary! I know you feel the same way! Why are you being like this?"

She made her expression unreadable. "Don't tell me what I feel, Jace"

He looked incredulous. "I know you like the back of my hand. You don't think I know how you feel even if it wasn't written all over your face?"

_Shit. _"Jace I love you."

New hope dawned in his face. "I love you too."

"But," Clary said as tears formed, "I just can't be the girl that you deserve."

"Clary, I want you. Not some girl that you think I should have. I've only wanted you. My whole life."

"It's just a crush, Jace. You'll get over it some day."

Jace looked like she wanted to shake her. "It's not just a crush, Clary! How many times do I have to tell you? I've been in love with you my whole life. It's not just my hormonal teenage nature! I'll never want anyone but you!"

Clary closed her eyes for a moment. She had to let him go. He'd be so much better off without her. "Jace, we just can't be together. We'd end up like two old crows fighting all the time. And then I'd regret it. But I'll always be there for you, I promise. Good friends are always there for each other."

"Clary.."

She took his hand. "I'll always love you, Jace."

"Just think it over a little bit, Clary"

"I have."

His eyes blazed. "I don't believe you."

this made her temper flare. "And why not?"

"Because you're lying to me. And you're lying to yourself."

"I'm not lying to you or myself about anything!" Clary said angrily.

"Yes you are. You're purposely hiding from what you know you want." Jace hissed.

"And what do I want? Since you know everything about me." She said indignantly.

"You want us. Just like I do." Jace said.

"I can't do this, Jace. I can't. I'm sorry."

She started to pull away, before Jace brought his lips crashing down on hers.

**Another cliff! :) Sorry about how it's so short :( But maybe the next one will be longer? Hope you liked the chapter! I put a lot of thought into it, And that wasn't how I originally going to write this chap. But I hope you liked it anyway! Please review! And thank you so much for your reviews so far!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Heyy readers!! I hope you like this next chapter :) Thanks for all the reviews so far! :)  
**

**Disclaimer: I am not the awesome Cassandra Clare, so I do not own this series :(**

CPOV

The kiss was amazing. It was just as simple as that. Jace's lips moved so in sync with her own, and although she knew she shouldn't, she found herself kissing him back. For a minute, all she thought about was Jace. About his lips on hers, his arms around her. Pretty soon she came back to reality and realized Jace had her pinned up against the wall. When they brought their lips again up for breathing, Clary bit her lip and leaned her forehead against Jace's. She just had to tell him the truth. He wouldn't let her go any other way.

"Jace.."

His eyes searched hers. Gold met green. And sparks flew. "Clary, don't say you didn't feel anything. Don't lie."

But she had to. "No."

Jace looked perplexed for a minute. "No?"

"I didn't feel anything." It was a complete and utter lie. She felt all of it.

Now she couldn't meet his eyes, but she knew he was getting angry, because she could feel his hands on her back tighten into tight fists. "Clary, what the hell is wrong with you? One minute you're saying you love me, the next you're saying you don't feel anything at all for me. Where did my best friend go? The one who was actually honest with people?"

Clary couldn't help herself, "Shut the hell up Jace. Stop being such a jerk."

"Oh now I'm the one that's being the jerk? Look at yourself, Clary."

Clary was infuriated now. "You did not just call me a jerk. I'm trying to save you from pain!"

"The only pain you're giving me is how you're acting right now!"

Clary's eyes flashed. "Just let me go, Jace! I don't want you, ok?"

"Like hell you don't."

She snorted. "Conceited much?"

He looked shocked. "How can you even make jokes now, Clary? I love you, I've only loved you, and I'll love you until I die. Even if you don't feel the same way, I'll always love you."

_I love you too! _Clary wanted to shout.

"But," Jace continued, "I know you do feel something for me, even if you wont admit it."

"Why can't you just accept that I'm not in love with you? This girl that you think you want, it's not me, Jace. I'll never be good enough."

He backed away from her, and started really shouting. "God, Clary! What shit are you spouting? Get this through your head. I'll never want anyone but you."

Clary looked at the floor for a few minutes, and then looked up into his eyes. His eyes had frozen over, and he was wearing a cold, angry face that she had never seen him wear before. "Well I don't want you. I'm sorry, but I'm leaving now. Goodbye, Jace."

She walked out, and this time he didn't stop her. After she walked out, she could hear him throwing stuff around his room. She went downstairs, expecting Isabelle to hound her with questions. When she started towards the door. Isabelle grabbed her arm.

"What happened--" She started, but Clary just pulled her through the door, and they made their way to Clary's.

JPOV

_Damn it. _Jace thought angrily. He'd screwed everything up between himself and Clary. Everything. After Clary had left the room, he started throwing stuff around, breaking them. It felt good to break something, the way Clary had broken his heart. Minutes and hours passed, until it was time for dinner. He reluctantly made his way downstairs, not really hungry for anything right now. Something did surprise him in his lifeless state thought, Isabelle had tear tracks running down her face. Jace sighed, knowing he really shouldn't ask but she had peaked his curiosity. Isabelle almost never cried.

"What's wrong, Izzy? Watch Titanic again?"

Isabelle sniffed. "Clary told me not to tell anyone."

Jace stiffened. "Clary?"

"Yeah but she'll probably be gone by now.."

_What? _"Izzy, what the hell are you talking about? She go to the movies or something? Didn't want to invite me?

"No..she--she--" Isabelle broke down, sobbing.

Jace was really getting alarmed now. "What, Izzy? Where did she go?"

She took a deep breath, as if preparing for what she was about to say. "She's gone, Jace."

He rolled his eyes. "I get that. Where did she go to?"

"California."

This confused Jace even more. "Why would she go to California?"

"Her mom got a job offer there, she didn't want to--didn't want to tell anyone. Not even us." Isabelle start to cry again.

Jace's mind was whirling. "Did she give you an adress? Something?"

She lifted her red eyes. "No, Jace"

He immediately got up from the table and started running towards her house. _Clary._ He wasn't even angry at her anymore. It all made sense now. All of his memories came rushing back. He saw them, running on the playground when they were six. Building a fort of blankets and pillows when they were eight. Facing the fears of middle school, then high school together. Never leaving each others side. How could she do this to him? Leave him all alone here? He finally reached her house and ran inside. But what he saw definitely wasn't what he wanted to see. The Morgenstern house, empty. No furniture, nothing. He ran up to Clary's room. There was one item in there, a picture of Jace and Clary when they were seven. He hugged the picture to his chest and sunk to the ground. It was the only thing he had left of his Clary.

**Aww I was like ready to cry at this chapter! I really, really hope you liked it. I think the next chapter, I might go skipping through time a bit. If you have any ideas at all, don't hold back! And review lots please..I love them:) **


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay, so again I'm posting twice in a day :) I know a lot of people may not read this, but please do.**

**This is FIVE YEARS SINCE THE LAST CHAPTER. Just wanted to clear that up. Jace is 23, and Clary is 22.  
**

**Disclaimer: The only thing I own are my copies of the series, but no I didn't not write them, because I'm not the fabulous CC.**

**ENJOY!!! :)  
**

JPOV

Jace Lightwood wandered down the streets of New York City. He was going to meet up with Izzy and Simon later, but he had the whole afternoon to himself. He decided to spend it in Central Park. While walking in the grass, he breathed in the crisp autumn air. He looked up at the beautiful trees, turned vibrant colors. Jace looked at one tree in particular, that was all red. For an instant he saw _her _face. The tree color looked so much like her hair. He sat there and stared at it for a minute, immersed in its beauty. _Clary_. He thought, involuntarily. Even just thinking her name brought him a burst of pain. Jace sighed, for a moment, then continued walking. He glanced at his watch, surprised that it had gotten so late so soon. He was pulled back into his thoughts of Clary when a flash of color in a window caught his eye. He stared at the painting. It looked so familiar, the brushwork, the colors, even the scene. It looked like something Clary would paint. _But no_, he thought. _She's not even in the same state as you anymore._ He searched for the artist's name, and when he finally found it, he blinked. It couldn't be. But it said so, right under the painting: 

**Clary Morgenstern**

Jace sucked in a quick breath, then whipped out his phone.

"Hello?" Isabelle said irritably.

Jace rolled his eyes. Isabelle hadn't changed a bit, even in five years. "I know I'm late, but--"

"Damn right you're late," Isabelle cut in.

"I'm sorry. Really. But I was on my way to your apartment, and I went past a art gallery, and--"

"And..?" Isabelle said impatiently.

"There was a painting on display, and it looked so familiar, so I looked to see who the artist was," Jace explained. He took a deep breath before saying, "It was Clary, Izzy. Our Clary."

Isabelle was silent for a few minutes. "Oh my God."

"I know that's what I--"

But Isabelle cut him off again. "You've got to find her, Jace."

Jace smiled. That's what he hoped she would say. "I will, Izzy."

He hung up, and then found Clary's address on his phone. He took a deep breath, like he was preparing himself, and set off in the direction of Clary's apartment.

CPOV

Clary Morgenstern almost collapsed after she was done vacuuming her while apartment. She almost never cleaned, so this was definitely a first for her. She went back into her bedroom, where she started digging through the dresser drawers. She pulled out a photo, and when she brought it out, she smiled. It was one of the few pictures of herself and Jace she had brought with her when she moved. She traced Jace's outline. It was their first day of middle school. Jace looked like his usual blond, smirking self. Clary was short and freckled. They looked so different in this picture. But it was one of Clary's favorites. She frowned, involuntarily remembering that horrible day when she had left her whole world behind to move to California.

_Flashback:_

_"We're leaving, Izzy." Clary said, trying to sound sure and determined._

_Isabelle looked at her for a few seconds, then burst out laughing. "Good one, Clary. I almost believed you for a second there."_

_She shot Isabelle a sympathetic glance. "I'm sorry, Iz. But it's true. I only wish I were kidding."_

_Isabelle then burst out sobbing, which caused Clary to start bawling also. After Isabelle had left, Clary looked around her empty house. She had never seen it look so..blank. The job offer had come up so suddenly, and Clary didn't want to tell anyone. It was just too hard. She looked at the one item she had not packed, a picture of herself and Jace. She blinked back the tears and set it back down. He would find it, eventually. She knew he would. She ran down the steps, and almost ran into her mother, looking as cheery as ever. _

_"Ready, honey?"_

_Clary spared one last glance as her childhood home, before she left it behind forever._

_End of Flashback_

California had been alright, she thought. She hadn't met any great friends like she had here in New York, but she managed. After high school, she decided to move back to New York. And when she made it back, she realized how much she had missed all of it. The city, the traffic, even the snow. She was careful not to mention the fact that she was back to Isabelle or Simon, they would tell Jace. But she had told Magnus, Alec and Sebastian. And Sebastian--

Her thoughts were cut off by the knocking at her door. Clary hurriedly got up. She glanced in the mirror, sure she was wearing really old clothes, but she doubted whoever it was would care. So she just shrugged, and went to go answer the incessant knocking.

"Hey, Clary."

She blinked. It couldn't be. But Jace Lightwood was standing right in front of her. She touched his arm to make sure he wasn't a ghost. Well that, and she felt like she was going to faint. Finally her mind started working again. "Jace?"

He grinned. "The one and only."

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes before Jace cleared his throat and said, "I know it's kind of short notice, but would you like to go out for dinner? Catch up.."

Clary blinked. "Uh..sure. Let me just go change real quick. I'm a mess."

Jace's eyes smoldered. "You look beautiful, as always."

She blushed, and hurried up to go get changed. She hoped he wasn't taking he wasn't taking her anywhere fancy because she looked terrible. Clary still couldn't believe he was standing out there. How had he found her? Alec? Magnus? It didn't make sense. She rushed back to him, and they started walking in a comfortable silence.

"So..how have you been?" Clary asked hesitantly.

"Decent," Jace looked at her. "What about you?"

Clary cleared her throat. "Um..fine."

They made other tedious small talk while they walked to the restaurant. When they got closer, Clary grinned in spite of it all.

"Fred's Diner." She stated while Jace looked over at her again. He smiled, too.

"Yeah, do you remember how many hours we spent here, pigging out?"

Of course she remembered. They were the best times of her life. "Drinking the chocolate milkshakes.."

Jace licked his lips. "I just might have to get one of those. I haven't had one in forever."

They got a table, and sat down across from each other. They had gotten more relaxed as their conversation went on. It was almost like old times. Well, except for those occasional awkward silences. When their food came, they both dug in eagerly.

"I didn't realize how starving I was." Clary said with her mouth full. Jace laughed at the picture. Jace dug into his food, and Clary took this moment to study him. He still looked almost the same, five years later. But something in his features hinted unhappiness, underneath his eyes were dark circles from many sleepless nights. Jace looked up and stared at her for a minute, before going back to his food.

"Me too," Jace finally agreed, as he reached for the salt. Coincidentally, Clary reached for the salt at the exact same moment. When their hands touched, Clary felt the same spark she had felt when she last saw him. She figured Jace had felt the same, but when she looked up, she saw he was staring at her hand with a peculiar expression on his face. Clary glanced down. She couldn't imagine what he would be so confused about her hand. then she remembered. _Oh shit. _

Jace motioned to her hand, "What's that?"

She looked down at the beautiful diamond ring that occupied her finger. She wished she could disappear at this moment. She wished she would've never agreed to coming to dinner with him. She should have expected something like this to happen. _But there's no going back now_. She thought. Clary took a deep breath before saying,

"Jace, I'm engaged."

**I'm so sorry for killing you with these cliff hangers! But I love you guys! I swear! I just looove cliffs :) they keep you interested. Anyways, review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for all the awesome reviews! You guys are the best! :)**

**The song that is playing at the club is Boston:Agustana. It's a beautiful song. I love it!**

**Disclaimer: The only thing I own are my copies of the series, but no I didn't not write them, because I'm not the fabulous CC.**

JPOV

Clary was engaged to someone else. He felt the little hope he had felt when he first saw her again, shrivel and crumble. _She would never be yours_, he thought. _She's going to marry someone else._

Finally his mind started working, enough to ask, "Who are you engaged to?"

Clary bit her lip, and wouldn't meet his eyes. "Sebastian."

He blinked, not comprehending. "Sebastian Verlac?"

She finally looked at him and said, "Yeah. We dated for a year, and then just a month ago, he asked me to marry him."

They dated. How had he not known this? _Probably because she was avoiding you. _A little voice in his mind said.

"Wait, how long have you been in New York for?"

She sighed, almost like she was hoping he wouldn't ask this question. "Since I got out of high school down in California. I went to college at Tisch."

Anger flared up in him. "Well thanks for telling all your friends about this. But apparently Sebastian was enough. Actually, I'm sure he found out about it because he was probably tracking your every move since you left."

Clary's own anger started up. "Don't talk about him like that."

As sudden as his anger had appeared, it diminished. "Do you love him, Clary?"

She wrung her hands on her lap for a moment before answering, when she did that, Jace always knew she was nervous about something. "Yes. I love him with my whole heart."

Jace felt as if she had slapped him. But if Clary was happy, he could try to be happy for her. Even if he wasn't, at all. "Listen, Clary. Will you and Sebastian come with Isabelle, Simon, Magnus, Alec,and I to Pandemonium tonight? Just like the old days? Catch up?"

She looked so happy when she smiled at him. "I'd love that, Jace. Thanks."

He got up from the table, "I guess I'll see you tonight." He turned and left Clary there, all alone.

****

He arrived at Isabelle's apartment and slammed the door behind him. His mind still couldn't process it. His Clary, the girl that had been his first and only love, the girl that he had thought constantly about for the past five years, the girl that had broken his heart, was marrying someone else.

Isabelle came around the corner. "What are you throwing a hissy fit for? I thought you were going to see Clary. I expected to see you with the sun shining out your ass, not ready to kill someone, who better not, by the way be me."

Jace put his head between his hands. "I did go to see her, Izzy. I thought I would get a second chance with her, since it got so screwed up five years ago."

Isabelle moved closer to sit beside him. "Well are you going to tell me what happened or not?"

He sighed, "She's getting married, Izzy."

He heard a slight gasp, "Married? What the hell?"

"It gets worse." Jace continued, "She's engaged to Sebastian."

He looked up, Isabelle was just staring, eyes wide. "How did you react to that?"

"God, Iz. You sound like Doctor Phil . Sure I was pissed at first, but it's no use. She's in love with him. I'm in love with her, and she's in love with him. I'll never have her because she's in love with Sebastian."

Isabelle sighed. "Okay, I may not know much about your little situation, but I know that five years ago, she was in love with you, as much as you were in love with her. The only difference is, she hid it really, really well."

"Your point?"

She rolled her eyes. "My point is that she still may be in love with you, Jace. You should fight for her."

"But--"

Isabelle got up. "I hope you invited her to go with us to Pandemonium. I have to go get ready now. Be ready in an hour."

She left the room then, leaving Jace's mind spinning again. Could Clary still have feelings for him? It didn't seem possible..but yet..maybe it was worth a try. He wasn't going to loose the love of his life twice.

CPOV

After Jace left the restaurant, Clary sat there for a moment. Seeing Jace just brought up so many memories that she had wanted to forget. She knew she loved Sebastian, but she wasn't sure how she felt towards Jace. Some of the time she wanted to pound him with her fists, and other times she just wanted to be held in his arms again. She sighed, and started on her way home.

When she arrived, Sebastian was home from the office. He smiled when he saw her come in. "Hey, honey."

Clary smiled and went to curl up in his arms. "I love you, Sebastian."

He held her closer. "I love you too." And he kissed her with such passion that she was afraid her knees might give out. Sebasian was an amazing kisser. Not as amazing as Jace but--

She pulled away from the kiss abruptly. She couldn't believe she had just thought those words. She hadn't thought about her kiss with Jace in nearly three years.

Sebastian looked at her questionably, "You okay, Clary?"

She smiled to reassure him and shook all the thoughts of Jace from her head. "I got an interesting visitor today."

"Who's that?"

"Jace.."

Sebastian laughed. "Jace Lightwood? Wow I haven't seen him in a long time. Why did he show up?"

She thought a moment before answering. She hadn't really thought about it at the time, or ask. She was just so caught up in the fact that Jace Lightwood had shown up randomly at her door.

Clary shrugged finally. "I don't really know. But he invited us to meet up with the rest of them, Alec, Magnus, Izzy, Simon up at Pandemonium. I mean I understand if you can't come if you have too much work to do for tomorrow but--"

Sebastian silenced her with a kiss. "Of course I can come."

They got ready then, Clary found herself unusually stressing about what she was going to wear. She finally settled on a turquoise and black little number, with black high heels Isabelle might even be satisfied with. Sebastian looked drop dead sexy, as usual in a black shirt with jeans. She thought this with pride. _He's mine!_ She wanted to shout. When they got to the club, Sebastian and Clary waited at the bar for the others arrived.

Suddenly she heard a voice behind her. "Would you like to dance?"

She turned, and saw Jace. She smiled at Sebastian, and then went onto the dance floor with Jace. He looked amazing tonight, in a white button down shirt and jeans. She smiled again and started dancing with her. Although it had been almost five years, this was still one of her favorite songs.

_You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,_  
_ She said_  
_ You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,_

She let herself get lost in the music. All she could feel were Jace's arms around her, his lips near her ear, singing the lyrics to the song. His voice sounded so perfect, he even sounded even better than the lead singer.

After the song was over, she looked up at Jace, who grinned. "Some things don't change, even in five years, do they Clary?"

She reluctantly grinned back at him. "No, Jace they really don't."

**I didn't give you guys a big cliff this time! Proud of me? I know this chapter may have been a bit boring, but I'm planning for the next chapter to be a bit more exciting. Review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Okayy, so I made this chapter..a bit..mature. But not so much that I have to up the rating. I promised this one would be better than the last one, so I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: The only thing I own are my copies of the series, but no I didn't not write them, because I'm not the fabulous CC.**

JPOV

Clary was drinking. A lot. It was almost comical to see her try to walk straight. Jace took this as an opportunity to question her about her soon-to-be wedding.

"So," Jace started, "When's the big day?"

Clary giggled._ Giggled? Clary never giggled before_. Jace thought.

"One month!" Clary squealed and giggled again.

"Wow, that's pretty soon, don't you think?" He just had to ask.

"Nope!" She said, "I love him!"

"I get that, Clary."

She squinted at him. "You're raining on my parade."

He grinned, "Clary--"

But she cut him off right away, "Where did everyone go? Did you have them kidnapped?"

He rolled his eyes, "Yes Clary, I got everyone kidnapped just so I could talk to you."

Clary gasped, "Really?"

He smirked, "Yeah, I'm planning for them to be murdered, too"

This time she rolled her eyes, "You haven't changed a bit, Jace. Still the smart ass I see."

"You were always more of a smart ass than me and you know it."

She smiled hugely, "I'm glad that you found me, Jace. I missed you."

_She missed you_. "Clary there was actually something I wanted to talk to you about--"

Clary suddenly squealed and screamed, "I love this song!" And dragged him onto the dance floor.

"You suck at fast dancing, you know." She commented.

"Me? I do not. I just don't jump up and down non stop like you." He smirked.

Clary pouted. "I am an awesome dancer. Would you like lessons?"

Jace didn't know if he could handle her touching him like that. "No thanks."

She pouted again, and continued dancing like an idiot.

CPOV

Clary was having _fun. _This was the most fun she had in five years. And surprisingly, she didn't even care where Sebastian or the others were. She knew it was wrong, but she was glad to have this little time with Jace. But slowly, she started getting dizzy. She stopped dancing suddenly.

"Jace, can you take me home?"

He nodded, "Sure. Do you want me to get the others..?"

She shook her head. "No they'll realize we're gone. They'll be fine."

Jace nodded, and then went to go get their jackets. Clary pulled hers around her gratefully. It seemed it had turned to winter overnight. They walked in silence. Jace looked up suddenly.

"Do you want to just go to my apartment? It's closer. You look dead on you feet."

She mulled over this for a minute, before nodding, grateful. "I'll just text Sebastian."

They made it to his apartment quickly, then. Clary was again surprised on how neat Jace's place was. She was the exact opposite of him in every way.

"Jace, I need you to come clean my apartment. Seriously."

He grinned. "You still live in a pig sty?"

She smiled back. "You bet."

They stood there awkwardly for a few minutes, before she finally said, "Do you have a T-Shirt I could borrow or something..?"

He blinked quickly. "Oh yeah. And there's a shower down the hall if you want. You can just get any T-Shirt from my dresser."

She smiled and went down the hall to his room. She rifled through several drawers, and upon opening one of them, found the photograph she had left at her house all those years ago. A tear ran down her cheek. He had kept it.

She heard him coming down the hall, so she hurriedly grabbed a random shirt and went to go get a shower. It felt good to get her head cleared of all the alcohol. She really had drank a lot.

She walked down the hall, only to find herself collide into Jace. He caught her around the waist, and held her tightly.

"Easy there, Clary."

She blushed slightly, but loving the feeling of his arms around her. _What are you thinking? _She thought._ You have a fiancee! _But it was all to much. Memories of the past surrounded her, and she felt herself leaning closer to Jace, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't handle being this close to him.

Their lips touched, and it was like fire igniting. He was being gentle with her, but it wasn't gentleness she wanted, not after all this time. She kissed him hungrily, and he responded with the same eagerness. It was just like the first time they kissed, Clary thought. It was amazing. Her mind kept screaming at her to stop, but her body didn't want to. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't bring herself to take her hands from his curly, soft hair. All that existed was them, Clary couldn't think of anyone else in that moment, not of how her choice might affect her or Sebastian. She needed Jace right now. She needed him like air to breath.

She realized, while kissing Jace, she was cheating on her fiancee. But she couldn't bring herself to care. Slowly, Jace picked her up, bridal style, and took her into the bedroom, closing the door behind them

JPOV

It was amazing. He had dreamed of this moment for so long, but didn't think it would happen this soon. He tried to ignore the fact that Clary had just cheated on Sebastian with him, but he just didn't care. Clary was his, and she was curled up in his arms. This was how it's supposed to be, Jace thought. They were always supposed to be together.

In his arms, Clary stirred, and buried her face into his chest.

"Jace," She whispered.

**I promised this one would be more exciting! :D That was for all you JacexClary lovers! I hope you liked it! If not, I might be re-writing it..but I'm not sure. Give me your opinion ok? Review :)**


	11. AN PLEASE PLEASE READ!

**Ok so this is an authors note, so please don't kill me!!**

**I hope you like the story so far, but I need some ideas on what to do next. **

**So, if you have any good ones, please PM me, and Ill see what I can come up with!**

**I want a lot of different opinions, so please don't hold back!!**

**Thanks!**

**Lots of Love,**

**kjs2259  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry it took me so long to review! (it seems that way anyway) :) So I was really debating on how to write this chapter. You guys gave me some really good ideas, though, and sparked some creativity from me! Well, enough of my babbling. Enjoy this chapter!**

CPOV

Clary groaned, and stretched her arms in front of her, hitting someone else. Blearily, she opened her eyes and the whole night coming crashing down on her. She'd slept with Jace. She'd cheated on her fiancee. _Oh crap._

"Hey," She said sleepily.

He rolled over, so that he was on his side and touched her face with the back of his hand. "Hey."

They looked at each other for a moment, before Jace finally said, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Clary thought. She definitely didn't want to talk about anything until she had coffee inside her. "Later," She said, covering his hand with her own.

They then got ready for the day. Once they sat down, drinking their coffee, Clary finally decided it was time to talk about it.

"So," She started, "about last night.."

Jace straightened, and looked her in the eye. "I don't regret it, Clary. Not one bit."

"I don't either," She said, surprising herself.

"What are you going to do about--"

"Sebastian?" Clary asked.

"Yeah," Jace said, still staring at her intensely.

"I'll tell him the truth," She said, shrugging, "what else is there to do?"

He rubbed his eyes, "When are you planning on telling him?"

She felt instantly tired, "I don't know, Jace. He's going to be so angry with me, especially since I'll have to call off the wedding, the invitations were already sent out, everything. I'm going to completely crush him. I don't know how to handle that."

"Maybe," Jace started, "if he loved you enough, he would let you go. It's what I had to do."

Clary blinked, ungrateful for the reminder. "I hate thinking about that time, Jace."

His eyes suddenly blazed, "So why did you do it, Clary? We could have still been together even though you had to move away. There's phones, computers--"

"You don't think I know that? But how many of those long distance relationships actually last?" She said with sudden anger.

"The ones that don't last," Jace said angrily, "are the ones that are not strong enough. we could have been strong enough, Clary. If you would have given us the chance."

"You don't think I regretted it?" She said when the tears started to form, "I regretted it every day. Every day, Jace."

"So why did you go off dating Sebastian? Hell, Clary. Why did you have to go get engaged to him?"

She took a deep breath, "He understands me, Jace."

He looked taken aback by this, "And I don't?"

"No you do," Clary said, "It's just, it seems like we're fighting all the time. I never fight with Sebastian. I mean, I love him."

"We just slept together," Jace said calmly, which scared her. When Jace was this calm, it was when he was the angriest. "And you still love _him."_

She felt like she wanted to bang her head against a wall. "Yes, I mean--"

"Don't explain any further, Clary." Jace said while getting up, "I can see I still mean nothing to you."

She stood up too, outraged. "Jace Lightwood, you could never mean nothing to me!"

"No," He said, "but you're still in love with him for some goddamn reason, and I can't be with you when you're still in love with him, Clary!"

"Do you think it's easy for me, Jace?"

He opened the door. "I think it's extremely easy for you. A lot easier than the rest of us."

He walked out, slamming the door behind him. Clary bit her lip, and felt the tears slowly moving down her cheek. How had her perfect night with Jace gone so horribly wrong? It just didn't make sense. She got her stuff, and hurried out the door and went to Central Park, to Turtle Pond. This had been a favorite place of Jace and Clary's. She sat there thinking over her feelings. What did she feel? She asked herself. Regret, pain, worry, guilt. All of these emotions popped into her head, but there was one she was feeling above all others. _Love. _She knew she was in love with Jace. At least she thought she was. She also knew she was in love with Sebastian, too. But was it enough to overpower her love for Jace? She shook her head, and headed home.

When she opened the door, she was met to deal with a very angry looking Sebastian.

"Did you not get my text?" He said angrily.

Clary shook her head, confused. She looked through her bag until she found her phone, and opened it. Twenty unread texts from Isabelle, and three from Sebastian.

"Sorry," she finally mustered, "my phone was off, I guess."

He shook his head, looking even angrier. "You can't just go off to his house to spend the night, Clary!"

Even though she knew he was perfectly right, this angered her. "Why not, Sebastian? Jace is a friend! You don't own me!"

"You are about to be my wife. Of course I own you." He stated this as if it were a simple fact.

"What are we in the 1800's, Sebastian?"

"Stop being such a bitch, Clary." He stared at her coldly.

A hot blush crept up into Clary's cheeks. "Do not ever call me a bitch. I am not your property, Sebastian."

His face looked suddenly repentant. "I'm sorry, Clary. I just get worried."

"I can take care of myself. I'm a big girl now," She said, smiling wryly. "there's actually something I needed to tell you--"

"Wait," He suddenly cut her off. "Isabelle is having some sort of party today. You're coming, right?"

She felt her mind suddenly clear. Isabelle was having a party, which meant Jace might very likely be there. "Uh, yeah sure. I just need to get showered and changed."

JPOV

Jace sat there at Turtle Pond, feeling like an idiot. He couldn't believe Clary went back to Sebastian, just like that. It was incomprehensible. He thought that maybe she really did love him, after last night. It had been so perfect--

And this morning had been a nightmare.

He'd pushed her away, when he should be fighting for her, now more than ever. God, he knew he loved her. He loved her so much. If he ever lost her again, he didn't know what he would do. Jace had thought he was finally getting over her, but then she had come right back into his life, picking viciously at the old wounds she had created. Sure, it had been nice to see her at first. But now, that the shock from seeing her again after five years had worn off, and she had left him again--

No, he thought. He would not think of that right now. _You're Jace Lightwood. How does she affect you so much?_ He thought to himself. _Maybe because you're in love with her. _That little voice in his mind said again.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." He muttered to himself. But soon he couldn't stop himself. He started imagining himself and Clary. Clary, with her beautiful red hair piled on top of her head, in a white wedding gown, walking towards _him _not Sebastian. Clary, holding a little blond girl with her beautiful green eyes. The images came faster and faster, and Jace couldn't stop them. He now knew what he had to do. He got up, and went to go get ready for Isabelle's party.

One hour later, he was freshly showered and ready. He headed in the direction of Isabelle's apartment. When he got there, he looked around, disappointed that Clary wasn't there yet. Isabelle's apartment was pretty big, as far as New York apartments usually were. It was more like a luxurious condo. Jace went to the upstairs bathroom, expecting to find it empty. Instead, he found himself staring into Clary's green eyes.

"I--I--um I'm--" She stammered, while her cheeks slowly blushed.

"No problem," Jace said smoothly. Although Clary's presence affected him greatly, he wasn't going to show it. "Stalking me again?"

She chuckled. "Oh yeah."

"Listen, Clary," He started nervously, "what I said today, I didn't mean any of it."

She looked up into his eyes. "You have every right to say those things to me, Jace."

"No, I don't," He moved closer to her.

"You do," She said, backing up against the sink, closing her eyes, "I've been such a bitch to you. To everyone, actually."

"Clary," He whispered. They were so close, even their knees touching. "you could never be like that, no matter how hard you tried."

She opened her eyes again, and touched his face lightly, and sighed. "We--we shouldn't be--we shouldn't be doing this."

"I know," Jace said, before his lips came down and silenced hers.

**Did you llllliiiikkkkkeee it?? I love intense JxC romances :) Please review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey, This chapter was really making me mad, well that and this website. It kept deleting my stuff! So, I put all I could into this chapter. Hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer:I do not own the MI Series**

CPOV

Clary slowly shut her eyes as Jace came near her. She knew this might happen, even expected it. She should have gotten out there before their twisted relationship could get more out of hand. Her emotions were taking her on a roller coaster. One second, her mind screamed, _Just kiss him! _And the next her mind was screaming, equally as loud, _You have a fiancee! _But as he got closer, Clary could think of nothing but Jace. She saw his golden eyes, so luminous. She saw his smile, which was almost always a smirk. She saw the golden hair that she loved to run her fingers through. She heard his laugh. As she closed her eyes, only Jace existed. She saw him at various stages in life, him as a five year old, him as a teenager, and now. He was so beautiful now, it almost made her heart break. But slowly the image of Jace burned inside her lids turned into someone else, easily as familiar as Jace. The golden hair turned jet black, and the luminous eyes turned into a fathomless black. And at that moment, her mind snapped back to reality. She pulled away abruptly, feeling as if a vital part of her, had been left behind.

"Jace--" She started, but quickly stopped at the sound of two sets of footsteps coming closer. One was distinctly male, and the other sounded like..high heels?

"Where is she?" Clary heard Sebastian's voice, sounding tense and angry.

"I don't know, Sebastian," Isabelle replied. "Shes probably just wandered off or something. I'm sure you have no reason to worry so much."

"Well lets find her." Sebastian said impatiently. "And I have every reason to worry."

"Oh?" Isabelle snorted. "And whats that?"

There was a moment of complete silence. Clary wasn't even sure she was breathing anymore.

"Do you think--" Sebastian started, "Isabelle, do you think Clary still has feelings for Jace?"

Isabelle hesitated. It was brief, but it was there. "No Sebastian. I'm sure she doesn't."

Clary exhaled as she heard the footsteps retreating. She looked at Jace, but his face was unreadable.

"Looks like the happy couple isn't so happy anymore." He stated cooly.

Clary looked into his eyes. They were cold, and distant. "Jace, don't ok? Just..don't"

"What?" Jace asked, smirking.

"Just..don't pretend you don't feel anything. If you're mad, just say it."

"Me?" Jace asked delicately, "I thought showing no feelings was more your specialty. Sure, you can show a shitload of feelings for Sebastian, but for me.."

"I don't--" Clary sputtered. "I don't do that, Jace."

"Then tell me, Clary. Tell me how you really feel."

"I--uh--" She stuttered. _Shit._

Jace was staring at her coldly, as if she were something he found under the sink. "That's what I thought."

He started to turn, to go out into the hallway. "Wait! Jace! Just listen!"

He turned around suddenly. "No. You listen, Clary. I've completely given myself over to you. Twice. And you're still ignoring it. I can't give you what you want if you wont tell me."

And with those words, he rushed out the door. Clary sunk down onto her knees and put her head in her hands. She was completely silent for a moment, before the sobs started. She'd screwed everything up. Again. Her choices were bringing so much pain to everyone involved. Jace, Sebastian, herself. She just wanted to lie there on the cold tile floor of the bathroom floor, and never get up again.

JPOV

Jace stood outside the bathroom door for a moment, leaning on the door. A moment later he heard Clary's sobs. He closed his eyes. Right now he just wanted to go to her, and put his arms around her, and tell her everything is going to be okay. But he knew from past experience, that anything was rarely okay. Jace stood there for a moment longer, before getting back up, and going back to the party. He didn't even know why the hell Isabelle was having this party. But then, Isabelle likes having parties for no reason at all.

"Where the hell have you been?" Alec's irritable voice snapped at him.

Jace glanced over at him. "Why? Did you miss me, Alec?"

Alec rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Right. Everyone has been looking everywhere for you."

"That's so sweet they care about me that much."

"Jace Lightwood. You may be my brother, but I will punch you in the face if you don't shut the hell up."

"I thought you were asking where I was? How are going to find out if I'm not allowed to talk?"

Alec ran his hand through his choppy hair. "Just--Jace, please tell me you wern't up to something."

Jace rolled his eyes. "What would I be up to at Isabelle's lame party?"

Alec looked at him for a brief second before looking down. "Just--never mind. Her party is pretty lame..I tried to talk Mag into coming but.."

Jace tuned out of Alec's speaking when a flash of red caught his eye. He looked up sharply, only to feel his heart drop into his chest. Clary went up and snuggled into Sebastian's arms. He kissed her hair, and then her cheek. She smiled up at him, a true, joyous smile that Jace had never seen before. He turned away before he could see anymore.

"Alec," he said, interrupting him mid-sentence. "I need to--I need to leave."

He rushed out the door, without looking back.

CPOV

Clary watched as Jace ran out the door. Her heart ached. She was barely aware of the rest of the party. She answered people like she was on auto- pilot. There was no life in her voice at all. The day went almost excruciatingly slowly, and Jace never returned.

"Ready to go, Clary?" Sebastian whispered in her ear.

She smiled weakly at him, "Finally."

He grinned, taking his hand in hers. When they started their walk home, he turned so he stood in front of her, and put his hands on her shoulders. "Are you okay?"

"I just..don't feel good." She lied.

He tucked a strand behind of hair behind her ear. "We'll get home and get you in bed."

They continued their walk home in a comfortable silence. But Clary couldn't stop seeing Jace's face every time she closed her eyes. She kept seeing that look on his face, as if he hated her. Like she was something disgusting he had accidentally found. But, then again, she was all those things. She couldn't keep throwing him around in a loop. She had to choose between the two of them. She knew it would be hard, that whoever she picked someone was going to get hurt. She wished she was the only one getting hurt in all of this. She deserved it. But Sebastian and Jace..they didn't deserve to be hurt at all.

_I have to choose.  
_

**Done! Did you like it? Who should Clary choose? Sorry it took so long to update, these past few days have been INSANE. Sorry if it's a little short. :) Review for Jace!**_  
_


	14. Chapter 14

**I am soo sorry for not updating lately. These past few weeks have been CRAZY. Plus I like a few days to think how I'm gonna write the next chapter. Soo, Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer:I, sadly do not own the MI Series. Only the copies I bought at Barnes and Noble :)  
**

JPOV

Jace sat there at Turtle Pond, again. He wasn't sure what drew him to this place so much. It had been a place Clary had loved, but he guessed she probably had forgotten all about it by now. It had been ten years since they had been here, after all.

_Flashback:_

_"Come on, Jace!" Clary's voice shouted._

_Jace turned around, and was confused at what he saw. Clary was wearing a sundress, that made her look so beautiful. "What--What is that?"_

_She looked at him dryly. "It's a dress, Jace. Come on! We're going to be late for our picnic!"_

_"How can we be late for our own picnic?" He mumbled as she pulled him down the New York streets. Clary just rolled her emerald eyes, and continued on to Central Park. It felt like they had walked forever, when she finally stopped and said,_

_"This is the perfect spot." He watched her as she looked out onto the pond, mesmerized. She looked at him again. "This will be our place, Jace. If you can't find me someday, I'll be here. Always."_

_End of Flashback._

Jace sighed. Right now, he couldn't find Clary. Sure, he knew where she was physically. But the Clary he had always known, was gone. He didn't know what happened to her. And he couldn't find her. Without seeming to help it, his legs stood up and carried themselves to Clary's apartment.

He was just about there, when he saw two figures making out in the alleyway. He started to turn away, disgusted. But then he turned back around. He squinted his eyes. The figure was..but it couldn't be..Sebastian? Jace almost didn't recognize the female form, she was so covered up by Sebastian's body. They were very--intertwined. But then in a moment he noticed her. It was Aline Penhallow. She was an ex girlfriend of Jace's, when he was trying to take away the sting of Clary's leaving. He never really liked her, though. She whined all the time. Apparently, Sebastian liked her though.

Jace quickly hid himself before they could see them. He then heard Sebastian and Aline start talking.

"I love you, baby." Aline's whiny voice said. "When are you going to break it off with the midget whore?"

Jace's fist clenched. No one talked about his Clary like that.

"I love you too," Sebastian said back. "But we need money first--"

"I don't care about money! I need _you_!" Her whining got more intense.

"I know, baby. I need you too." Sebastian said gruffly.

Jace turned and ran when he heard the kisses and moans start again. He felt like he was going to throw up. Sebastian was cheating on Clary. Granted, Clary had cheated on him, but he deserved it. He was a scumbag. Clary was just so sweet, and vulnerable, he didn't even know how Sebastian could live with himself to cheat on her.

Jace finally made it to her apartment on the top floor. She opened the door, looking breathtaking even in a sweater and jeans. Her eyes widened when she saw him.

"Jace?" She breathed. "I thought you hated me. I thought you never wanted to see me again--"

"Shh. Clary. Where's Sebastian?"

She looked confused for a minute, and then asked, "Why?"

"Just answer the question." He knew where Sebastian was, making out with some slut not a thousand feet away from her.

"He went to the store to pick up some food. Why? Is something wrong--" She asked, her green eyes troubled.

"Everything's wrong, Clary. Just--come take a walk with me." He pulled her out into the hallway.

"Okay.." She looked suspicious, but came willing enough.

They walked down the seven flights of stairs silently, neither of them uttering a single word. He pulled her toward the alleyway, where he had just seen Sebastian and Aline, but they were gone.

CPOV

Jace pulled her down the stairs silently, looking furious. Clary couldn't imagine what could make him so mad. Had it been her? He pulled her towards the alleyway, and stopped suddenly. She looked around, seeing nothing.

"Jace..?" She asked hesitantly.

He stood there for a few more minutes, blinking in disbelief. "Shit." He muttered.

"What's wrong, Jace? There's no one here--"

"Yeah, no one here _now." _He cut her off. And started pulling her down the street again.

"I can walk without your assistance, Jace."

"Sorry," He said as he let her hand go.

"Where are we going?" She asked suspiciously. She really shouldn't be going anywhere alone with Jace. There was too much electricity in the air, and it was hard to ignore.

"You'll see." Jace said tautly.

They kept walking, until Clary figured out where they were going. It was Turtle Pond. She smiled, remembering the last time they had been here together. She had been here frequently since then, but she didn't think Jace would remember it. It was ten years ago, after all.

"Do you remember the last time we came her?" Jace asked her quietly.

"Of course I do," She grabbed his hand and made small circles with her thumb. "It was the best day of my life."

"Do you remember," He started again, "What you promised me?"

Clary thought back to ten years ago. "Yes. What about it?"

"You promised me that you would be here when I couldn't find you." His golden eyes searched her green ones.

"Yeah, Jace. I remember." _How could she forget?  
_

Jace gathered her in his arms, and murmured in her hair, "I can't find you anymore, Clary."

"What? I'm right here." Clary said, confused.

"Clary, you don't understand" He said miserably.

"What don't I understand?"

"I want to hate you. I try to hate you. It would be so much easier if I did hate you. Sometimes I think I do hate you, but then I see you and I--I can't even explain it, Clary."

A few tears dropped onto her cheeks. "You have every right to hate me, Jace. I understand if you do."

He pulled back from the embrace. "I can't hate you Clary. I'll never stop loving you."

"But we can't, Jace.--"

"And I'm supposed to just stand by and watch you marry Sebastian..have kids..be happy without me? And meanwhile I'll die a little bit more everyday, watching. I want to be the one you marry, Clary. I want to be your child's father. I want to be with you forever."

The sobs started. "Jace, just please--"

"Clary, I'm in love with you. And I want you to pick me instead of him. Marry me, Clary."

**Cliff :) Sorry about that. And if it's a bit short. (again) I hope you liked the chapter! What do you want to happen next? The person with the best idea gets a shout out :) I know there are a lot of people who like Aline and Sebastian out there, but I needed them to be total douches. Anyway, review PLEASE!!**


	15. Chapter 15

**It's one am, and I cant sleep! So i decided to write some more :) a lot of people gave me ideas, actually a lot of them were around what i was going to write about :) so I hope you like this chapterr! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own MI :(**

JPOV

"Marry me, Clary." Jace said before he could stop himself. The words had popped out of his mouth. He suddenly felt dread at how Clary would react, but he knew with his whole mind and heart, that he had said the right thing. If he hadn't spoke up, then he might never have.

"What?" Clary's soft voice asked him, bewildered.

"I'm never going to get over you, Clary. I love you so much it hurts. When I'm away from you, I feel like a vital part of me has been taken away. I need you." He spilled his feelings t her.

"Jace-I don't-I don't know what to say." Clary stuttered, not meeting his eyes.

"Say yes." The answer she could give him, her yes, could make his life complete. But, if she said no, it would destroy his life completely.

She looked at him for a moment, and shook her head sadly. "You could seriously have any other girl in the world, and you choose me. That's messed up."

His mind went blank. What did she mean? "How is it messed up?"

Clary sighed. "You're beautiful, smart, charming, and funny. I'm just..plain."

He moved closer to her. "Clary, you're anything but plain."

"But--Jace--"

"No," He cut her off. "Marry me, Clary. We can be so happy together."

She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I--I cant, Jace. I'm so sorry." She whispered.

Jace blinked, uncomprehending. "Why?"

"I love Sebastian."

"If you only knew, Clary." Jace sighed.

"If I only knew what?" Clary asked, perplexed.

"Sebastian, hes not as good as you think he is." He spat out. "Hes a bastard."

Clary's cheeks flushed, angered. "Just because you don't like him--"

"Hes cheating on you!" Jace shouted before he could help it.

She stopped what she was about to say. "No hes not, Jace."

His hands balled up into fists. "Why cant you see it, Clary? You belong with me, not him. Ive always been there for you. I feel stuff for you that I have never felt for any other girl. And I know you feel it, too. You've got it just as bad for me as I do for you."

She spoke then, her voice as cold and pointed as an icicle. "I don't love you, Jace. You have always been there for me, and I guess I took advantage of that. But I realize now you're just a big liar. You cant stand the fact that I want to marry Sebastian, so you make up these ridiculous lies about him. I'm done with lies, Jace. And I'm done with you. Do not ever contact me again."

And with that, she turned around and left.

Jace stood there for a moment, before coming back to life. "Clary!" He shouted, running after her. "Clary!" But already he had lost sight of the bright red hair, that he loved so much.

_Way to go, Lightwood. You've made her hate you know._

He sighed and punched her phone number into his phone. It went straight to voicemail. Jace closed his eyes, and threw the phone on the ground. He needed to get out of here. Out of the park, out of this city. Hell, he needed to get out of this state. There was no chance Clary was ever coming to him. He opened his eyes, slowly and hailed the nearest cab and directed it to the airport.

CPOV

Clary couldn't believe Jace had said that to her. It was impossible to think Sebastian had been cheating on her. Sebastian was just so caring towards her. He could never be capable of that sort of sin.

The same sin Clary had made.

This made her heart well up with guilt. She had cheated on him, and then Jace had the nerve to tell her that Sebastian had cheated on her. She heard her phone ring, and when seeing the name said Jace, she immediately hit ignore. She wouldn't talk to him. It was the best way she could think to punish herself for cheating on her fiancee. She would be _married_ in less than a month. She needed to cut her ties with Jace, before she could do something she would regret in the long run. She pushed open her apartment door, to be greeted cheerfully by Sebastian.

"Hey, honey." He said with a smile.

"Hey," She whispered, before letting herself get enveloped in a loving hug. She realized, suddenly, that tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"Whats wrong?" Sebastian asked, holding her tighter.

"Just a rough day." Clary said. _What an understatement._

"Where were you?" He asked, a bit possessively.

"Just went for a walk for some fresh air. Hey, Sebastian?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you cheating on me? The words popped out before she realized she was saying them.

"No, I'm not. I love you, Clary. What else could I want?" Sebastian murmured.

"You're right. I'm really sorry. It was a ridiculous question." She said, stupidly.

"What about you and Jace?" He asked, suddenly.

"What about us?" Clary stalled.

"You still don't..have feelings for him, do you?" He asked, looking into her eyes.

She hesitated. Did she have feelings for Jace? "No."

"Okay," He smiled, kissing her. But, instead of Sebastian's face behind her lids, she saw Jace. She couldn't help it. No matter how hard she tried, Jace remained on her mind.

"Lets get you to bed. You look dead on your feet." Sebastian suggested quietly.

"That sounds like a good idea." She smiled, following him into the bedroom. Suddenly, her phone blared in the hallway.

"Ill get it," Sebastian said. "You get under the covers."

Clary sighed, happily, and snuggled under the covers. Sebastian rushed into the room, holding he phone.

"Its Isabelle. She says its urgent." He said, confusion dominant on his face. Clary sighed and took the phone from him, reluctantly.

"Yes, Isabelle?" Clary, yawned.

"Clary! Thank God you answered! I was so worried you wouldn't! I--"

"Whats the big emergency, Iz?" She cut Isabelle off.

"Oh my God, Clary. Its Jace." Isabelle's frantic voice said tearfully.

Cold dread filled Clary. "What happened to him, Izzy?"

"Hes gone, Clary. No one knows where he went. He just..disappeared." Isabelle said, breaking down in sobs.

**Okayy! That chapter is donee! I'm really sorry if there are some apostrophes missing in some words, FanFiction wouldn't let me type them. Whatever. I hope you liked this chapter! I want to get to at least 100 reviews, so please please PLEASE review! **


	16. Chapter 16

**I'm FINALLY updating again! I just wanted to say thank you to all you reviewers and story subscribers, I seriously squeal like a little kid when I get one of those e-mails. I'm trying to update as much as I can, but I'm swamped with homework, tests, and sports. But I'll update as much as I can!**

**Disclaimer:I'm not CC :(**

****CPOV

"Wh--What?" Clary stammered.

"He's just--gone. He called me just now, from a payphone. He said he's alright. But he doesn't sound alright, Clary." Isabelle said, voice quivering.

Clary tried to concentrate on what the other girl was saying, but all she could hear were Jace's words, over and over again in her head.

_Marry me._

She closed her eyes, and saw Jace's face behind her lids. She'd watched as she broke his heart into a million pieces, and hers broke as well. The light in his golden eyes had faded, and his shoulders had slumped.

"Clary? Are you still there?" Isabelle asked, annoyed.

"I'm sorry. Come over. I'll be outside in ten minutes." Clary said hastily and hung up.

"Is Isabelle alright?" Sebastian asked as he poked his head in the room.

"She'll be fine." Clary lied smoothly, surprising herself. She had never been a great liar.

"Did she have a shopping emergency or something?" He said, smiling.

"Something like that." She smiled weakly back.

"Are you alright?" Sebastian asked worriedly.

"I'm fine." She snapped. "Where are you going?" She asked, seeing he was putting his jacket.

"I'm going out for a bit. Are you going to be okay?" He asked, putting on his sneakers.

"I'm great, Seb. You better be going. Bye" Clary said, while practically pushing him out the door.

When he was gone, Clary slowly sank to the floor, rubbing her eyes. She made her way back to the bedroom, picking up her sketchbook on the way. The only way to help herself think was was to draw. And right now, she couldn't think at all.

Slowly, she felt her hand move across the paper. After about five minutes, she glanced at the paper. Jace's face was there, not smiling. He looked..disappointed. Disappointed in her. She blinked at the page, before hastily closing it and shoving it under her pillow. She ran down the stairs quickly, and slammed the door behind her. Outside, Isabelle was pacing on the sidewalk, looking impatient.

"Where the hell have you been?" Isabelle snapped.

"I was..busy." Clary said hesitantly.

Isabelle looked up with a disgusted expression. "Ew. Clary, I do not want to hear about your sex life. That's nasty."

"I wasn't--"

"Never mind." Isabelle cut her off. "We have to get going now."

As they practically ran down the street, Clary asked, "So what exactly did he say?"

Isabelle sighed. "He said 'I'm fine. Don't look for me.' and then hung up. I was seriously pissed."

They reached Jace's apartment, and Clary silently led the way up to the right door.

"How did you know where he lives?" Isabelle asked, confused.

"I've--uh--been here before." Clary stuttered. _Shit, stop stuttering!_

"Oh. My. God. He totally brought you here before!" Isabelle said while jumping up and down.

"What's the big deal?" Clary asked, trying to calm her down.

"You guys slept together, didn't you?" Isabelle squealed.

"I--uh--"

"I can't believe it! You finally came to your senses! Wait! Oh my God! You're engaged, Clary!" Isabelle said, catching her breath.

"Isabelle--just stop for a second. Do you have a key? Please tell me you have a key." Clary asked pleadingly. If Isabelle didn't have a key, they were screwed.

"Yes, ma'am." Isabelle said, saluting her as she handed Clary the silver key.

They made their way inside, and while Isabelle made her way to the kitchen, Clary decided to go into the bedroom. She paused, after opening the door, and then continued in. She sat down on the bed, running her hand along the already smooth sheets. Before she could stop herself, memories of the one night they had slept together came rushing back to her. It had been the best night of her life, and it had ended too soon. She blinked the tears that started to fall, and laid done on the bed, which smelled so strongly of Jace. Sunshine and limes, the scent she could breath in for the rest of her life. She looked on the dresser, and once again saw the picture of Jace and her.

"I can't find--" Isabelle rushed in. "Oh. Sorry if I'm interrupting."

"It's alright." Clary said, wiping the tears off her cheeks. "What could you be interrupting? Did you find anything?"

"No," Isabelle shook her head sadly. "Do you have any idea where he might've gone-?"

"I know where he last was. Maybe we could go there."

"Where?" Isabelle asked, confused.

"Turtle Pond. Let's go."

They rushed out the door, hurrying down the streets. Finally, they reached the park. Clary followed Isabelle down the twisting paths. Isabelle went near the water, while Clary went inside the little gazebo. Her breath caught as she saw a little slip of paper, folded up. She opened it silently, and started reading.

_Clary,_

_I meant what I said this afternoon. I'll love you forever. I want to be with you forever, but see now that it's never going to happen. I'm leaving now to make it simpler fpr everyone. I can't watch while you marry another guy. Someone who will never, ever deserve you. Watching you with him feels like my heart is being twisted, slowly._

_You say that you're not good enough for me. You couldn't be more wrong. You're beautiful, smart, and witty, but you don't even know it. I've always seen you as the most beautiful girl in the world, Clary, and that will never change. _

_When I said I wanted to marry you, I meant it with all my heart. I've always wanted to marry you, and always known you were the one for me. You're the only girl I have ever loved, and the only girl I ever will love._

_Goodbye._

_Jace_

_P.S.-Don't come after me._

Clary's hand shook the whole time she reas the letter. She held it to her chest, tears moving down her cheeks.

"Hey, I found his phone." Isabelle said behind her.

"Isabelle, we need to get to the airport. Now."

JPOV

"Hello, where will you be flying today?" The pretty blond asked Jace.

He looked up at the possible flights. Florida..Hawaii..Washington..California.

"I'll take one to California, please." He told the girl.

Jace got his tickets, and went to the lounging area to wait for his flight to board. He looked around the room, seeing Clary where ever he looked. He sighed, quietly. _Why can't you get this girl off your mind?_

__"Flight 393, California is boarding now." The blaring loudspeaker brought him out of his reverie. He got up, quickly, gathering the little belongings he had. He turned, taking one last look at the airport.

**Another chapter done! Review, or PM me and tell me what you want to happen next. I love you guys for reviewing, seriously! So...review if you love Jace!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Holaa! :) Ugh my computer is being stupid again, so its not letting me type apostrophes in some places. So, SORRY!! **

**Disclaimer: These are so stupid, because I am OBVIOUSLY not Cassandra Clare. I'm not that awesome :)**

CPOV

"Can this driver go any slower?" Clary asked irritably.

"Clary, hes going as fast as he can. I mean look at all this traffic. Its ridiculous." Isabelle sighed.

Clary fidgeted in her seat, getting more impatient by the minute. She played with her hands that sat in her lap, twisting them nervously. She rolled down the window, sticking her head out and looking at the massive traffic jam.

"Excuse me, sir. How long will it take to get to the airport?" She asked the driver politely.

"Hard to say, probably about twenty minutes at least." He replied.

"Izzy, we don't have that much time! Jace could be getting on a plane right now!" Clary hissed.

"Clary, just calm down--"

"Calm down? Calm down!" Clary cut her off. "How can I calm down when Jace is about to--"

"Stop it." Isabelle whispered.

"You don't even care!" Clary protested.

"I love my brother. I do, honestly. But maybe this is what he needs to get over you." Isabelle said while avoiding her eyes.

"Get over me? Ive let him get over me!" Clary said angrily.

"No, you haven't. Even after you left, all he thought about was you. And now I find out that you guys--that you cheated on Sebastian with him. And then you just abandoned Jace, and went back to Sebastian! When are you going to make up your mind who you really want?"

"Because I--I love them both so much." Clary admitted.

"Well, you have to choose one. You cant keep stringing them both along. And, I think Jace just made your decision easier for you."

"Why are you doing this?" Clary whispered.

"Because you're accusing me of not caring. But I do. I just want you and my brother to be happy." Isabelle responded, looking out the window.

"I need to go get him." Clary said suddenly.

Clary swung open the door, and started running. She heard Isabelle scream her name, distantly, but she didn't care. She didn't even care that she got a few angry car honks, and even a few fingers. But all she could think about was Jace, about reaching Jace before he went on the plane. Clary couldn't let him leave, because she was irrevocably in love with him. She couldn't remove Jace from her life, anymore than he could remove her from his. She had realized this too late, but now that she did, she believed in it with her whole heart. She would give up Sebastian if she needed to.

She closed her eyes, as she kept running, and saw Jace. She saw his blond hair, the hair that she loved to run her fingers through. She saw his golden eyes, the eyes that always got the truth from her. She saw his mouth, usually raised up in a smirk. She saw Jace in a tuxedo, and herself in a white dress, getting married. She saw him beside her, with her belly as round as a basketball. She saw him playing with a little baby girl, with red hair and gold eyes. She saw every part of their life together, and she knew she couldn't live without it.

Panting from the long run, she stumbled through the doors of the airport. She looked at the departing flights, her eyes searching, until she found California. Something in her heart pulled her there, and she knew in an instant that is where Jace would go. She ran to the gates, seeing a head full of blond hair.

"Jace!" She screamed.

He turned around, his shocked eyes meeting hers. He slowly walked towards her.

"I thought I told you not to--"

"Not to come after you? But I had to." She said, tears streaming down her face.

"You didn't have to. I'm leaving, Clary." Jace said, his eyes cold as ice.

"But you cant--"

"No, what I cant do is watch you marry another guy." He said, starting to turn away.

Clary's forehead crumpled. She grabbed her stomach as a sharp pain hit. "Do you hate me?"

"I wish I could. It would make this so much easier." He pulled her into a big hug. "I love you, Clary."

"I love you too." She whispered. _You have no idea how much._

"Goodbye, Clary. Just, don't forget me." He said, as he shoved something into her hands.

"Jace--" She started, but he had already gone. She watched as he disappeared, taking her whole world with him.

She slowly sank to the floor, ignoring the confused looks of the people watching her. She opened her palm, revealing a golden locket.

_I will always love you. _It simply said. Beside the engraved words was a picture of Jace and Clary. The same one she had left for him all those years ago. The same one that lay on his dresser.

JPOV

Jace sighed as he sat down in his seat. He looked around, but only saw Clary everywhere he had let her go, because he saw how much he was hurting her.

If you love someone, let them go.

And even though it had killed Jace, he had let her go. He dug around in his pockets, and found what he was looking for.

A picture of Clary, from freshman year. Jace had always loved this picture, because she looked so happy. He sighed and put it back in his pocket. He got out his iPod, and put it on a random song.

_But now its over_, _why is it over_

_We had the chance to make it _

_Now its over, its over, it cant be over_

He closed his eyes warily as he listened to the lyrics. After it finished, he listened to it again. And again, and again, and again. He kept listening it until he fell asleep, a red haired angel occupying his dreams.

**Okay so I know this was a short chapter, but this was just kinda a filler. Anyway, don't hate me! I swear I have a plan for Jace and Clary :) **

**Review!  
**


	18. Chapter 18

**Yeah, I just got back from my basketball practice, and I'm sacrificing my homework to do this! I'm so sad! Bahaha :) I'm just kidding. I love you guys and I try to update, I swear! **

**Disclaimer: No, I am obviously not Cassandra Clare. Duh.**

JPOV

"It is currently a warm 89 degrees here in sunny California, please buckle up for landing."

Jace woke up, startled to the sound of the flight attendant. Had he just slept for the entire flight? His dream had been so vivid and real..

_Flashback_

_Jace looked around, confused. He was in the tree house Clary and himself had built so long ago. Why was he here?_

_"Jace?" _

_Jace turned around, facing Clary. She was dressed all in white, smiling from ear to ear._

_"Why are we here?" He asked, confused._

_"You're such a joker, Jace. What does it look like?" She said, gesturing to her white dress._

_A wedding dress._

_"Oh." He said, feeling popped like a balloon. _

_"Why are you so sad?" She asked, frowning._

_"I don't want to go." She flinched at this._

_"You're--you're dumping me at the altar?" She asked, a few tears sliding down her cheek._

_"Wha--What?" He stuttered._

_Her eyes flashed angrily. "You cant even remember your own wedding day?" _

_"I'm getting married?" He asked, eyes widening. _

_"Yes, you're going to be a daddy, too." She said, placing a hand over her stomach._

_"Since when?" Jace asked, although he knew._

_"That one night we spent together.." Clary smiled dreamily. _

_"I love you, Clary." He suddenly blurted._

_"I love you too, which is why I'm getting married to you." She turned to leave, but called over her shoulder, "Ill meet you at the altar."_

_End of Flashback_

His dream had gone black, then. Jace cursed. Why couldn't he stay in a good dream? He had no trouble with the nightmares.

"Hi." A female voice said.

Jace turned, to be facing a very pretty girl with straight corn silk hair, and ice blue eyes.

"Hey." He replied, already starting to turn away.

"Whats your name?" The girl persisted.

"Jace." He sighed. If there was no Clary in this world, he might have thought the girl was pretty. He might have even thought she was beautiful. But no one could compare to his Clary, or ever would.

"Mine is Larissa." She said, smiling.

"Great to know." He replied, closing his eyes again.

"So you're on your way to California?" Larissa asked.

"Obviously, that's why I'm on a flight to California." He snapped. He knew that his mood wasn't the girls fault, and he was being very rude and mean to her when she just wanted to talk to someone. But right now he couldn't bring himself to care.

"Oh my, touchy. Did you get dumped?" She asked eagerly.

He looked at her. She looked like a little kid, wanting to hear the whole story. "I don't see how that is any of your business."

"Aw, you got dumped." She said, making a sad face.

Jace exhaled angrily, and turned the other way. "What do you want?"

"Someone to talk to." She said, he could practically hear the smile in his voice.

"Listen, I know you're trying to be nice and all, but--"

"But you just got dumped. Got it." She cut him off.

Jace turned around to face her. She had her hands on her hips, and she was looking up at him expectantly. She was taller than Clary, and more muscular, obviously an athlete. "Can you stay the hell out of it?" He snapped.

"Mr. Grouch, today, I see."

"Are you going to leave me alone?"He asked, half pleading.

"Not a chance." She smirked.

"Do you usually go up to random guys and bug the shit out of them?"

"All the time." She grinned. "Do you want to start over?"

Jace sighed. "Listen--"

"My name is Larissa Mack. Pleased to meet you." She said, shaking his hand.

"I don't really--"

"So whats your name?" She asked, as if he hadn't spoken.

Jace contemplated what to do. On one hand, she was annoying as hell, and was already getting on his nerves. On the other, maybe he needed a friend out here in California.

"Jace Lightwood." He said.

CPOV

Clary sat there on the airport floor, sobbing. After what seemed like forever, Isabelle showed up, and tugged her to her feet. They walked back to Isabelle's apartment, not saying a word.

"Wait, Isabelle, why are we going to your apartment? I have my own house." Clary said when she realized where they were going.

"You look like shit. Sebastian cant see you like this. Plus, I have a feeling we have to talk." Isabelle said, continuing to pull her along.

They reached Isabelle's apartment, walked through the pale pink living room, and the brilliant blue dining room. When Clary stumbled into Isabelle's room, she walked over to the bed, exhausted.

"Okay, so spill." Isabelle said as she sat down on the bed next to Clary.

"Spill what?" Clary mumbled.

"What the hell happened?" She demanded.

"When?" Clary asked, tired.

"The airport--wait never mind, the whole thing."

Clary looked at her with bloodshot eyes. "This cant wait?"

"I'm sorry sweetie, but no." Isabelle said apologetically.

Clary sighed, and then started. "I guess it all started when he came and found me at my apartment."

Isabelle looked at her, expecting her to keep going. She continued,

"We went out to dinner, which is when he found out about me being engaged. He seemed--pretty upset. But he looked..almost resolved. Like he was planning something. We went out that night, with you guys, and I had a little to much to drink. We ended up at his apartment, and we--"

"Oh my God!" Isabelle squealed. "Was it amazing?"

"Um, ew. Izzy. You're his adopted sister. I'm not sure you should be thinking such things."

"I was just wondering." Isabelle shrugged. "Continue."

"Anyway, the next morning, we got into this huge fight. I was so sure I had made a mistake. I mean, I had _cheated._ I never thought I would ever cheat in a relationship ever. And here I was, going against everything I had stood for. But with Jace, it had felt so right. There really isn't much to tell, but I realize now I made a huge mistake."

Isabelle looked at her speculatively. "You're hiding something."

Clary's cheeks immediately flushed. "No I'm not."

"God, just tell me Clary"

"Okay..so he might have asked me to marry him--"

"Jace asked you to MARRY him?"

Clary groaned. "Yes."

"And you said no?" Isabelle's voice was softer.

"Yes." Clary answered again.

"Clary.." Isabelle sounded shocked.

"What?" Clary asked, looking into the other girls eyes. "You think I made the wrong decision?"

"Well..yeah. Why, don't you?" She asked, confused.

"No, I don't think I did. If I would have said yes, our whole relationship would have been built on a lie. I feel horrible, Izzy." Clary admitted.

"Okay..I have one final question. Are you going to stay with Sebastian?"

"Yes." Clary answered. "Jace isn't coming back."

"He will come back." Isabelle said, sure of herself.

"But--"

"He will come back," Isabelle said again, "For you."

"I don't know, Isabelle. I just don't think so." She said, exhausted.

"Go to sleep, Clary. Ill tell Sebastian you're staying the night." Isabelle whispered.

"Thank you, Izzy." Clary said, her eyelids already drooping.

She wasn't going to dream of Jace tonight. She told herself over and over again. Not tonight.

**Mmmk its done! Once again, I'm sorry for missing apostrophes. Please please please PLEASE review! **


	19. Chapter 19

**Hell****oo! :) **

**I was reading the reviews for last chapter (love them) and someone pointed out that the plot was sort of similar to The Notebook. I had no idea about that, until I watched it again. And it is! Haha :) Anyway, I just watched Titanic for like the billionath time. Anyone else love that movie as much as I do?**

**Also, this story is winding down. I know, sad. :( I'm thinking of writing a sequel, but I'm not sure. If you want there to be, or have any possible ideas for it, then please PM me.  
**

**Disclaimer: This is so stupid. I am NOT Cassandra Clare!**

3 WEEKS LATER

JPOV

Jace Lightwood had been in California for three weeks now, and he still didn't know what he wanted to accomplish by being here. Sure, he had Larissa, and she was a good friend. But there was something keeping him here..

He continued on his run, jogging at a faster pace than most people. He looked out at the ocean waves, pounding onto the shoreline. Jace stood there for a split second, before running out onto the sand, stripping off his T-shirt and shoes as he went. Quickly, he raced into the pounding waves, letting them cover his head.

_What am I doing here?_ He silently asked himself. There was nothing here in California that really interested him, in fact, he didn't even like it that much. He missed the city life of New York, the polluted air, everything. _Clary. _His mind whispered. _You miss Clary, dumbass._ He shook his head, getting rid of those thoughts as he pulled himself out of the water and headed back to his hotel.

The hotel was costing him a shitload of money for him to stay here every night for three weeks so far, but he didn't mind. After all, what did money matter when he had lost everything he wanted? He opened the door, and was surprised to find Larissa there.

"Well its about time you got here." Larissa said, eyebrow raised.

"Sorry, I didn't know I was keeping you waiting. You did kind of break into my hotel room without even telling me, you know." Jace replied, smiling slightly.

"You weren't going to invite me over anytime soon." She shrugged.

"You are a bit pushy, aren't you?"

"Its the only way to get things done." She said, sounding bored.

"And what do you want to get done?" He asked, curious.

"Jace.." Larissa started.

"Yes?"

"I like you." She looked into his eyes, studying them.

"I know. Everyone loves me. Its okay, you cant help it. I'm just that irresistible." He smirked.

"No, you're not understanding me." Larissa said, looking frustrated.

"I think I am. Listen, you're a great girl. And you're a great friend. But I don't see us going anywhere..um--" He coughed. "Romantically."

"We don't have to get romantic." She practically growled.

"What do you propose, then?" Jace asked, confused.

"We can have a little--" Larissa smiled. "Fun."

She then pushed him onto the bed, climbing on top of him, and crushed her lips onto his. Jace gave in for a moment, before Clary's face came up behind his lids. _Stop it. Have some fun. _He tried to tell himself. But Clary's voice wouldn't disappear. Instead of enjoying what Larissa was doing, he thought of Clary. Her face looked so disappointed in him. And she was right to be. It was almost like he was cheating on her. His body suddenly went cold. He pushed Larissa up, despite her protests, and walked to the window.

"Whats wrong?" She murmured.

"I--I cant do this." He stuttered.

"Why the hell not, Jace?" Larissa asked angrily.

"I'm in love with someone else." He said slowly. "I'm sorry if I led you on."

Her eyes flashed furiously. "To hell with you, Jace. I'm leaving."

After she walked out the door, Jace breathed a sigh of relief. He silently got all his stuff and headed out.

Jace didn't know how he got here, but somehow he ended up at the high school Clary had said she attended while she was here in California. School was still in session, so he made his way inside. He wasn't exactly sure why he was here, but some strange compulsion drew him to this place. Maybe it was the reason he was still in California, when there was obviously nothing here for him. He stopped suddenly when he came to a painted mural on the wall, instantly recognizing Clary's work. He stared at it, astonished once again at how talented she was. And how passionate she was about everything. She showed it in every color, every brushstroke. His eyes were raking the painting when he suddenly cam to a figure that was familiar.

A blond head, gold eyes..

She had painted him. All this time, he had thought she had forgotten about him during the time they were separated. But she had painted him.

Jace turned and went out the door, the strange compulsion gone, because he had found what he was looking for. It was time to go home.

CPOV

"Its..too showy." Clary protested.

"It is not! Its sexy! I cant _believe_ you waited until the week before your wedding to pick out your wedding dress! This is a disaster!" Isabelle complained.

"I'm changing out of this." Clary mumbled during her rant. She was glad to get the wedding dress she had on, it just wasn't her style. It was a corset top with no back, and had sparkles _everywhere. _Magnus would have been proud.

"Clary!" Isabelle squealed.

"What, Isabelle?" Clary said while putting the dress on its hanger.

"I found the perfect dress for you!"

Clary made her way outside of the dressing room, suddenly afraid. Isabelle was standing, a silky white dress in hand, and shoved it at Clary.

"Go, get dressed! This will be the one, I know it!" Isabelle said while pushing Clary back into the dressing room.

Clary took a deep breath and changed, and then took a moment to look at the dress. It was pretty, no doubt about that. It was silky, and flowy, and seemed to hug all the right places. It was strapless, with lace bordering the edges. It was simple, yet not boring, which was what Clary loved. She hesitantly made her way outside, where Isabelle was silently waiting. When she saw Clary, her eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

"Wow, I made you speechless? Isabelle Lightwood doesn't have something to say for once?" Clary joked nervously. Did she really look that bad?

"Clary..you look so beautiful!" Isabelle smiled as she gave Clary a hug.

"Thank you, Isabelle." Clary smiled back. But her smile quickly diminished, and her face got serious again.

"Okay, Clary. Something had been bugging you all day. Whats up?" Isabelle asked, sitting down on a bench, as she pulled Clary to sit beside her also.

"Its probably...nothing. Its nothing." Clary muttered.

"Why don't you tell me and Ill be the judge of that?" Isabelle asked, eyebrows creasing together.

"You promise you wont freak out?" Clary asked, worried.

"Let me think. Um well if you killed someone then I would definitely freak out, no matter how much I like you." Isabelle said, trying to reassure Clary.

"I didn't kill anyone." Clary snapped, agitated.

"Then what could be so bad, Clary?" Isabelle asked, rolling her eyes.

"I--I--"

"Spit it out, Clary." Isabelle coaxed.

"I missed a period." Clary finally blurted out.

**Sorry the update took so long, and I'm sorry I suck at making chapters long. But I promise, once school is out, I'm working towards a lot more updates and longer chapters. Revieww! **


	20. Chapter 20

**Thank you for all the reviewsss! Keep it up! No one told me if they want a sequel or not..**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the MI series**

CPOV

Clary watched as Isabelle's eyes widened until they were as big as plates. When she didn't speak for five minutes straight, Clary started to get worried. Why was Isabelle so shocked? You would think it was her who had missed her period.

"Um, Izzy? Are you okay?" Clary asked.

"I'm--I'm fine." Isabelle replied, while sitting down on the nearest seat. "Is it--"

"I think it's Jace's." Clary said, sitting down next to her.

"Oh, Clary are you sure?"

"About me missing my period or it being Jace's?" Clary asked.

"Well, um both I guess. I mean the missed period, it could be--um stress." Isabelle said, sounding not too sure of herself.

"Stress." Clary laughed. "Right."

"And if you are--" Isabelle started, but stopped suddenly as if she couldn't pronounce the next word.

"Pregnant." Clary finished.

"Right. If you are, then are you positive it is Jace's?" Isabelle asked, looking nervous.

"I'm positive." Clary took a deep breath. "When Sebastian and I had started dating, I told him I wanted to wait until marriage."

"You have to tell him, Clary." Isabelle said while biting her lip.

"Which one?" Clary sighed. "Sebastian would break up with me if he knew I cheated on him, and I have no clue where Jace is.."

"You can't hide it forever."

"I can sure as hell try."Clary said, nervously twisting her hands. "Isabelle, I wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah?" Isabelle asked.

"Will you--will you come get a pregnancy test with me?" Clary asked hopefully.

"Of course, Clary." Isabelle said comfortingly as she helped Clary up, and walked with her to the nearest drug store.

###

"Are you done yet?" Isabelle asked, while nervously pacing the floors outside the bathroom.

"Almost..I've got two more minutes left." Clary said back.

As Clary waited for the twenty sticks she had bought to show her her future, she suddenly thought about Jace. She had been trying to keep him out of her mind since he left, it just hurt too much to think about him. But, this time, it was a happy Jace. He was holding their daughter, smiling adoringly at her. Clary blinked, trying to dispel the illusion. She didn't even know where Jace was. He hadn't come back, and now he probably never would. She fingered the locket he gave her the day he had left. She still hadn't taken it off once.

The timer dinged suddenly, pulling her out of her reverie. She grabbed one stick at random, without looking at it, and took it out to show Isabelle.

"Well?" Isabelle asked, with one eyebrow up.

"I--I don't know. I was too nervous to look." Clary admitted.

"Just give it to me." Isabelle said, snatching the stick. She looked at it, then back up at Clary.

"You're going to be a mommy!" Isabelle squealed.

"Oh my God." Clary said, sitting on the sofa.

"What's wrong, Clary?" Isabelle said, sitting down next to her.

"I'm not ready." Clary said in a dead voice.

"Not ready? What are you talking about?" Isabelle asked, confused.

"I'm not ready to be a mom! I'm only twenty two! I can barely look after myself, let alone another human being!" Clary said hysterically.

"Maybe you'll get lucky and give birth to a dog." Isabelle tried to joke.

"Oh God Oh God." Clary said, not even noticing. "Giving birth? How am I supposed to do that?"

"I'm pretty sure you just push." Isabelle grinned.

"Isabelle--" Clary said warningly.

"Look, you'll be a great mom. I just know it. And Jace will be a great daddy." Isabelle assured her.

Clary wasn't convinced. It was hard to think of her as a mom. She had only just got out of college! Sure, she knew she wanted kids eventually, just not right now. And how would Jace react, even if she could find him? Sebastian was a whole other matter entirely. He would hate her forever, and somehow, Clary couldn't bring herself to let that happen. She just had to do what was best for her and her baby, and that was that.

JPOV

Jace got off the plane, cracking his knuckles nervously. He kept having that dream, again and again, of Clary having their baby..

He shook his head. It was probably just wishful thinking. As he made his way through the terminal, though, he couldn't stop thinking about it. Just the thought of Clary pregnant with his baby gave him the chills. But again, that was impossible. The one night they had spent together, they had used protection.

At least he thought they did.

He made his way out, and caught a taxi, and directed it to his apartment. He wouldn't go see Clary yet, he decided. He needed some time to clear his head. But as soon as he got into his room, he immediately turned around and went back outside, and hailed another cab. This time he directed it to Clary's apartment. He didn't care if Sebastian was there or not, he needed to talk to Clary.

He stood, waiting for the elevator, and when it opened, a surprised looking Isabelle stapped out.

"Jace?" She whispered.

"The one and only." He smiled.

"Jace Lightwood! You scared the hell out of me!" She scolded, hitting him.

"Aw, I missed you too." He said, pulling her into a big brotherly hug.

"Asshole." Isabelle mumbled into his shirt.

"You know you love me, Izzy." Jace said, grinning.

"Against my better judgment, yes." Isabelle said, finally smiling back at him. "Let me guess, you're here to see Clary."

"That would explain why I'm at her apartment." Isabelle smacked his arm. "Ouch. That hurt."

"Don't be such a smart alec." Isabelle paused. "But yes, she's up there."

"Thanks, Isabelle." He said. Stepping into the elevator, he added. "I'll text you later, to hang out."

###

Jace knocked on Clary's door, feeling impatient. Clary opened it, looking red eyed and frazzled, as if she had been crying. Her bright red hair was piled up in a messy bun on top of her head, with a few curls already coming out. He smiled as he saw her, thought, because he finally felt like the part of him that was missing was back again.

"Jace?" She said, putting a hand over her heart.

"Hey, Clary." He grinned.

**Ughh I know they're still REALLY short..but I'm trying, I swear! Review! **


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey! As I said before, this story is winding down. :( But keep up all the great reviews! I love you guys! 333**

**Disclaimer:I do not own Mortal Instruments.**

CPOV

Jace pushed his way into the apartment, ignoring the shocked Clary in the doorway. As he sat down on the couch, Clary blinked and slowly turned to face him.

"What do you want?" Clary demanded.

"Hello to you, too." Jace smiled. "You can sit down, you know."

Clary just stared at him, mouth wide open and speechless.

"Or not." Jace sighed. "I came to apologize, Clary."

"Apologize." Clary repeated in a dead voice.

"Yes, apologize."

"For what?" Clary said while just staring at him.

"I shouldn't have-God. I don't know if I should apologize for leaving, or coming back." Jace ran hand through his tousled golden hair. "I've treated you like shit, Clary."

Clary's eyes suddenly flashed angrily. "Yes, you have."

Jace slowly stood up and approached her. He took her hand in his and squeezed it gently. His gold eyes bored deeply into her green ones , making her heart melt. He looked so vulnerable in front of her, when they were alone together he never wore the hard mask to hide his true emotions like he did with everyone else.

"I didn't come to fight. Clary, I'm so sorry. For everything. I-I understand that you might hate me, and I can live with that. It's only logical to fell that way."

_No. _Clary wanted to shout. _It's not logical the real way I feel about you. I love you._

"But," Jace continued. "I wish you didn't. I love you, Clary. And I always will. But I'll be your friend. Just your friend. I wont ask anymore from you. That's what you wanted, isn't it?"

Clary felt a few tears suddenly pool in her eyes, and she yanked her hands away from Jace's to wipe them away. _Wanted. Past tense._The sobs were wracking her body uncontrollably now, and she slid down onto the floor. She knew Jace was worried about her, not expecting this kind of reaction from her.

"Clary" Jace whispered as he slid down next to her.

"I-I can't-" Clary tried to explain, only to start bawling again.

"Shh. Clary it will be okay." Jace whispered, pulling her into his arms.

Clary almost believed him, when he said that. But there was no hope for her or her baby. Jace's baby. After he left today, he would probably leave and never come and see her again. Never talk to her gain. And a life without Jace was unimaginable. He was a part of her, and she was a part of him. You couldn't separate them, no matter how hard you tried.

"Jace, I-" Clary started.

"Clary, don't talk. It's okay." Jace murmured."You look tired. Have you slept at all these past few days?"

"No." Clary sighed, sagging against him.

"Well then, let's get you into bed." Jace said, pulling her up bridal style.

"This really isn't-"

"Blah blah blah." Jace smiled down at her, but she could see the anguish in his eyes, though he hid it well. "You know I'm not going to listen, so why try?"

"True." She laughed shakily.

"Really, Clary, are you alright? You don't look so good." He said as he set her down on the bed.

"I'll be fine." She tried to reassure him, although she could see that he saw right through it.

Jace sighed. "Don't lie to me, Clary."

"I-I'm not lying." She stuttered.

"Yeah, that's why you're suddenly stuttering. You only stutter when you lie." He reminded her.

Clary exhaled angrily. "I know."

Jace sat down next to her. "So, what's up?"

"I-I don't want to talk about it." Clary said, as she laid down on the soft mattress.

She felt the bed shift as he got back up. "It'll come out eventually. I'll just have to be patient."

Clary shot up suddenly. "Where are you going?"

Jace turned back around, looking confused. "I'm leaving?"

Clary's heart suddenly constricted. "Why?"

Jace raised an eyebrow at her. "I thought that you would want to get some sleep."

She looked at him with pleading eyes. "Stay. Please."

"Is that really a good idea-"

"He's on a business trip." Clary cut him off. "And it's not as if we're doing anything wrong. I-I just need you here, Jace. You help me think straight."

Jace snorted, but nonetheless walked over to the bed and cautiously sat down. He laid down beside her, and turned to face her.

"Get some sleep, Clary."

Clary sighed contentedly, and stretched her arm across the bed so their hands could touch. Her hand tingled faintly, as it always did when they touched.

_I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me._  
_ I still feel your touch in my dreams._  
_ Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why_  
_ Without you it's hard to survive._

_'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling._  
_ And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly._  
_ Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last._  
_ Need you by my side._  
_ 'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static._  
_ And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky._  
_ Can't you hear my heart beat so..._  
_ I can't let you go._  
_ Want you in my life._

Clary smiled, and closed her eyes. She tried to hold off sleep, so she could tell Jace about her baby. Their baby. But all too quickly, she succumbed to sleep's power, and drifted into a dream filled with Jace.

JPOV

Jace watched as Clary slept, his angel. Her vibrant red hair was strewn across the pillow, and her mouth was slightly open in the shape of a delicate O. She was the most beautiful girl-woman that he had ever seen. He could stay and watch her forever, but at this moment he really had to go to the bathroom. He hesitated, then slowly touched Clary's flushed cheek, got up, and went to the bathroom.

After he was done, and washing his hands, He looked around the room. Only then did he notice something lying on the counter. Something white, long, and slim. He picked it up, examining it closer. It had a pink plus sign on it.

A pregnancy test.

What the hell was Clary doing with a pregnancy test? No wait, what the hell was Clary doing with a _positive _pregnancy test? She couldn't be-She couldn't be pregnant.

But could she? He tried to think about that night they had spent together, a night of pure bliss. He had thought they had used protection.

As he mulled over these thoughts, he picked up the pregnancy test, and went back into the room where Clary was now sitting up, stretching.

"Hey." She smiled sleepily at him, then seemed to notice his expression. "What's wrong?"

"What-What is this?" Jace asked aas he held up the pregnancy test.

She went pale suddenly. "Oh, Jace.."

"Clary." He said, eyes widening. "You're not-Please tell me this is Isabelle's or one of your other friends'."

She got up and looked him straight in the eye. "I can't tell you that, Jace."

"Tell me it's Simon's then!" He pleaded.

Clary looked at him skeptically. "Jace, you're going to be a dad."

**Let's get to 200 reviews! :)**


	22. AN

**Authors Note**

**Readers for If You Only Knew..**

**I'm so so so sorry guys! I haven't been writing lately, and I apologize.**

**Its just, I need some sort of inspiration to write. And right now, I don't have any. Ill write if something comes to me, but right now, nothing is happening for me. If you have any suggestions/comments please PM me!**

**Sorry again!**

**Love,**

**kjs2259  
**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey!**

**After writing that authors note yesterday, I realized how stupid I was being. I'll give you guys a chapter now :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own MI  
**

CPOV

Clary watched as Jace's eyes widened even more, and then unexpectedly smiled a huge grin. He laughed, and that seemed like the first time he had laughed in ages. Jace made his way over to Clary, and gathered her into a big bear hug. He twirled her around, laughing like a five year old. Pretty soon, Clary joined in, too. His laughter was so infectious, and it washed all her fears away.

"We're going to have a baby!" Jace said when he finally sat her down.

"Actually, I'll be doing most of the work, but yes. We're going to be parents pretty soon." Clary said, smiling up at him.

"Clary, I need to tell you something." Jace started.

"What is it?" She asked, stroking his face with her hand.

"I love you." He said as he looked deep into her eyes.

Clary froze automatically, as she usually did. But instantly she softened. Jace was what she wanted. Forever. And although she may love Sebastian, it was nothing compared to the love she felt for Jace. He was always hers, and she was always his. And now they could finally be together, with their baby. And she knew in her heart that she was making the right decision. After all the years of her stubbornness, Jace still loved her. After all she had put him through, he still loved her. The reason was a mystery to her, but she knew it was true. He showed it in every word, every action.

"I love you too, Jace." She said, taking his hands in hers.

"Took you long enough to say it." He teased lightly.

"Only five years. Jace?" She asked hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me." Clary practically begged. She needed to feel his lips on hers, the way the world needed the sunlight.

"Your wish, my command." Jace murmured as he leaned in to kiss her.

The kiss started out gentle, both just satisfied of the feeling of their lips together. But then, suddenly, it became fierce and passionate. Their lips had spent too many days, too many nights apart. Soon, Jace had Clary sitting on the counter so there wouldn't be such a major height difference. Clary sighed, and pulled him even closer, if that were even possible. She tugged lightly at one of the golden curls that her fingers were buried in, and he kissed her more eagerly in response. She pulled away just slightly.

"I love you so much, Jace. I'm sorry I hurt you." She murmured against his lips.

"None of that matters anymore, Clary." Jace whispered back and continued to kiss her.

They were so caught up in their kissing, they didn't hear the door quietly unlock and open. It wasn't until a voice spoke that made them come out of their passionate embrace.

"Well, this is awkward." Magnus commented, while struggling slightly at keeping a grip on the numerous bags he was holding.

Clary felt her heart sink as she realized Magnus was not alone. Sebastian stood behind him, looking shocked at what he had just witnessed. Clary's eyes immediately filled up with tears as he practically glared at her.

"Sebastian.." She started.

"Don't bother." Sebastian said, then walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

Clary hopped off the counter, pulling on her jacket. Jace's arm snaked around her waist, effectively trapping her.

"And where do you think you're going?" He asked, sounding genuinely curious.

Clary turned so that she was facing him, and looked up at his face with pleading eyes. "I just have to talk to him, Jace. He wasn't supposed to find out like this-"

"I should hope not." Magnus cut in, while digging through the refrigerator.

"Just-let me talk to him, okay? He's still one of my friends. I don't want him to hate me." Clary finished.

Jace's eyes searched her face for a minute. She knew what he was probably seeing, hurt, confusion, sadness, but most of all hope. He sighed, before letting his arm around her loosen.

"I just want you to be happy." He whispered.

"I am happy. More happy than I've ever been. But I don't want him to be unhappy. He doesn't deserve it. Everyone deserves to be happy. I'll be right back. I love you." Clary said, before stretching up on her toes to give Jace one last kiss.

###

Clary zippered up her coat, feeling cold within seconds in the frosty New York air. She stood there on the sidewalk for a minute, thinking of where she would search first. _Where would I go? _She thought. Somewhere inside, definitely. A food place? No, Sebastian never ate when he was upset. He always went to the nearest bar, and drank his troubles away, even when Clary had told him she hated it. Clary;s head snapped up. Left? Right? Straight? She knew there was a bar about a block or less away, where Sebastian had celebrated his bachelor party. She decided to head there first.

Her walk was cold, and though in reality it wasn't very long, it felt like eternity. She finally made it through the door. And was immediately enveloped by the warm air of the bar. She sighed, and started to look for Sebastian. She finally found him, sitting in the corner by himself, drink in hand. She slowly made her way toward him, and sat down on the seat next to him.

"Well look who it is. If it isn't my lovely fiancee." Sebastian said sarcastically.

"Sebastian, just listen-"

"No, you listen." Sebastian glared at her. "I knew you had feelings for him still. I knew it. But it seemed irrelevant to me. I thought you'd come to your senses and forget about the douche. But, instead you had to be a whore."

"Oh, I'm the whore now? That's kind of hypocritical, don't you think, since you cheated on my first?" She shot back.

"Wh-What?" Sebastian sputtered.

"To make a long story short, I knew, okay?"

_Flashback_

_1 week before_

_Clary had just gotten back from trying out different flavors for the wedding cake. She was sad to do it alone, since most couples made that decision-no matter how trivial-together. But, Sebastian was on another one of his business trips, "Saving up for our future" He always says. She smiled faintly, and pushed her apartment door open, surprised that it was unlocked. She made her way through the apartment hesitantly, in case of a burglar. She was just passing her bedroom when she heard a noise._

_"Oh, Sebastian."_

_Clary instantly stiffened, and quietly pushed the door open. Inside, on her bed, Sebastian and a girl were intertwined. Looking closer, Clary recognized the face of Aline Penhallow. Clary shut the door quietly, and in a daze, made her way out of the apartment._

_End of Flashback._

"Look, Sebastian. I want to still be friends, if that's even possible." Clary said, wringing her hands nervously.

"Friends." Sebastian replied in a dead monotone.

"Please?" She said, with a pleading look in her eyes. "I just want us both to be happy."

"You're happy with Jace Lightwood?" He asked, shocked.

"I love him, Sebastian. I love him so much. And I'm sorry you found out the way you did." Clary apologized.

"So, you want to be friends. Even after I _cheated _on you and you cheated on me?" He asked, looking like he was having a hard time believing what she was saying.

"Yes." Clary said, finally looking up.

"You're either crazy or the most forgiving person I've ever met."

"Maybe I'm both." Clary said, sticking out her hand. "Friends?"

Sebastian took it. "Friends."

JPOV

Jace sat anxiously as he waited for Clary to come home. He didn't want her to go, but he understood that she needed to make this right. She wouldn't be able to forgive herself if she wouldn't have gone, and then Jace would have been miserable for her being miserable. But, still he thought the motive was a little crazy. She wanted to go off and be friends with Sebastian after they had both cheated on each other? It didn't make sense. But Clary was the most forgiving person he had ever met. Even if it was a little crazy sometimes.

"So, Clary is.." Magnus said, while making a baby bump on his stomach with his hands.

"Yes." Jace said, rolling his eyes. He had explained this to Magnus about ten times, and he still couldn't comprehend it.

"Huh." Maugnus said, finally shutting up.

"What are you going to name it?" Magnus asked excitedly. Jace inwardly groaned. What was he thinking? Magnus never shut up.

"How about Maggie?" He joked tiredly.

"Don't you dare." Magnus glared at him.

"Hmm. I kind of like it." Jace smiled.

Suddenly, the door blew open, bringing a victorious looking Clary inside with it. She took off her jacket and scarf, and rubbed her hands together, trying to warm them up. Jace looked up at her from the couch, holding his arms open as an invitation for her. She smiled and snuggled up to him.

"Well, I have to get going home to Alec." Magnus said, getting up.

"Later, Maggie!" Jace called at him as he walked out the door.

"Don't tease poor Magnus." Clary giggled, poking Jace in the stomach.

"It's so much fun, though." Jace protested.

"You know what's even more fun?" Clary looked up at him, raising her eyebrows.

"What's that?" Jace asked.

"This." Clary said as she pulled his lips down to meet hers.

**Okay, so it's finally done! **

**Question: Should I do a sequel or just do an epilogue? If a sequel, possible ideas?**

**Review!  
**


	24. Epilogue

**This is the epilogue :) Basically it's just going to be various scenes for Jace and Clary's future. If you don't like it, don't review ;)**

**Disclaimer:I do not own MI**

_8 months later_

"Push, Clary!" The nurse encouraged. "You can do this! The baby is almost out!"

Clary looked up, and saw Jace. He was smiling down at her, wordlessly assuring her she could do this. Clary took one more deep breath and gave a deep breath. Immediately the horrible pain decreased and she heard a small cry fill the room. She looked up at Jace, and smiled, relieved. The nurse came back in, carrying a small pink blanket.

"You are now the proud parents of a baby girl. Weighing seven pounds, nine ounces. And she's twenty one inches long." The nurse announced as she handed the small bundle over to Clary.

Clary took one look into her daughter's eyes, and a tear slid down her cheek. She wiped it away absently, studying her baby girl. She had Clary's green eyes, and Jace's blond hair. A perfect mix. She looked up at Jace, and saw a look of awe on his face also as he looked at their daughter. She moved over in the hospital bed, making room for him to sit down. He sat down wordlessly.

"Would you like to hold her now?" She whispered.

Jace nodded mutely, taking her in his hands. He held her as carefully as he would hold a million dollar antique. Like she was priceless and irreplaceable. Which is exactly what she was. Suddenly, he broke into a big grin and brushed her pink cheek softly.

"She's so beautiful, Clary. She looks so much so much like you." Jace said as he put his other arm around Clary's shoulders.

"I don't know about that." Clary laughed. "I think she looks a lot more like you. But yes, she's so beautiful."

"Clary?" Jace said softly.

"What?" She asked, looking at him.

"What are we going to name her?" He asked, looking suddenly panicked.

Clary laughed. "Relax, Jace. It will come to us."

They both sat there quietly for a moment, looking at their daughter. Clary found herself mesmerized by her eyes. They were so green, like a forest. She was suddenly struck with inspiration for a name.

"What about Jade? Like her eyes." She suggested.

"It's perfect." Jace whispered. "Jade.."

"You pick the middle name." Clary said, smiling.

"What about..Anabelle?" Jace suggested.

"I love it." Clary said.

She looked up at his face, and he bent down to kiss her. After a few moments of this, however, did they remember there was a baby in there arms.

_6 months later_

Clary looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a white, strapless gown that fit her curves perfectly. Her red hair cascaded down her back in fiery, glossy ringlets. Isabelle came to stand beside her, looking beautiful herself in a deep red gown. They smiled at each other in the reflection.

"Are you ready?" Isabelle asked, putting her hands on Clary's shoulders.

"I've been ready my whole life." Clary said, grinning ear to ear.

"Let's go then." Isabelle said, smiling also, as she handed Clary her white and red bouquet.

They made their way to the entrance of the park, and started walking on the pathway towards Turtle Pond. Clary's breath caught as she saw how beautiful the whole place looked. She had wanted a small wedding, just their close friends and family invited. There were about five rows of chairs, sitting about five each. Clary and Jace's parents sat in the front row, looking teary already. Jade sat between the two grandparents, watching her mother with big eyes. Clary turned her attention towards the gazebo where Jace stood, beside Alec. As soon as he caught her eyes, he smiled a huge grin that almost made her heart melt. She vaguely noticed Isabelle walking down the aisle, looking graceful with ever step. All her attention was on Jace. And, as Luke came up, and intertwined his arm with Clary's, she started her walk down the aisle. After what seemed like forever, her hand was placed in Jace's. He squeezed it gently, and they turned to face the minister.

"It is now time for the speeches this couple has prepared."

Jace turned to face her, smiling briefly. "Clary, we've known each other for as long as I can remember. We were enemies first, when you got mad at me for stealing your Ring Pop. Slowly, we became friends. And as soon as we were friends, we became best friends. And as the years went by, I realized I loved you. I've loved you for over ten years, Clary. And it has not diminished over time. And now, we have a beautiful daughter. I love you, forever and always."

Clary wiped away a stray tear from her face before she cleared her throat. "Jace, I love you so much. I love you for putting up with me, even when I was acting stupid, and stubborn, which I am a lot. I love you for your personality, however arrogant or cocky you may be, you're loving and caring, and smart, and I've never met someone like you. I'll never stop loving you, Jace. You can count on that."

"Do you, Jonathon Christopher Lightwood take Clarissa Ann Morgenstern to be your lawfully wedded wife?" The minister asked as he turned to Jace,

"I do." Jace said, smiling at the minister.

The minister turned to Clary. "Do you, Clarissa Ann Morgenstern take Jonathon Christopher Lightwood to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do." Clary said.

"You may now kiss the bride."

_3 months later_

Clary sat at the dinner table nervously, waiting for Jace to get home. She had cooked his favorite meal, making sure to get it just right. She looked up at the clock. About three more minutes until he got home-

Her thoughts were caught off by the front door opening and quietly being closed again. Jace came into the dining room, looking almost as nervous as Clary as he saw her sitting there. He slowly took off his jacket and shoes, and sat down across from her.

"Spit it out, Clary." He said, as he studied her.

"I'm pregnant." Clary blurted.

_One year later_

Clary stood outside the nursery door, watching her little babies sleep. Three months ago, she had had twins. One boy, and one girl. They had decided on the name Daniel Alexander for the boy, and Dakota Renee for the girl. Coincidentally, the boy looked exactly like Jace, with blond hair and golden eyes. Dakota looked exactly like Clary. Closing the door quietly, she felt a pair of arms wind around her waist. She giggled quietly, and turned around to face Jace. She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him gently on the lips. After a while, the kiss became strong and passionate and needy. Jace picked Clary up, and made his way to their bedroom.

"Eager, aren't we?" Clary asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Very." Jace said as he once again devoured her lips with his own.

As Jace laid Clary down on the mattress, he slowly took off her top. Suddenly, Clary flipped them so she was on top, and got up, and walked out of the door, laughing the whole way.

"What a tease." Jace murmured.

_10 months later_

Once again, the Lightwoods welcomed another child. They named this girl Julia Skyler. Strangely, she didn't bear much resemblance to her parents as her siblings did. She had light strawberry blond hair, and sky blue eyes. Clary brought her fourth child home from the hospital, and was met with an energetic two year old and two one year olds. Jade came over to her, her green eyes cautious.

"Mommy?"

Clary knelt down so she was eye to eye with the little girl. "Yes, Jade?"

"Can I see the baby?" She asked, smiling. _She looks so much like Jace when she smiles like that._

"Of course, honey."

Clary took little Julia from Jace's arms and had Jade sit on the couch. She arranged Jade's arms so they were in a cradle like position, and carefully put Julia in her arms. Jace took one look at her little sister, and smiled a huge grin.

"I love my little sister, Mommy. She looks like you and Daddy."

Clary smiled wordlessly and gathered her oldest daughter into a hug. Some oldest children would get jealous of a growing family, but not her Jade.

_6 years later_

"Jade, it's time to go to bed." Jace said, in the midst of tickling his oldest daughter.

"Five more minutes, Daddy. Please?" Jade pouted.

"You're a growing girl, Jade. And growing girls need sleep." Jace said, affectionately rubbing her head.

Jade turned to Clary. "Mommy, will you and Daddy tell me a story?"

Clary looked up from her drawing. "Of course, sweetie."

Jade happily skipped to her room, as she made her preparations for bed, Clary and Jace came in just as she was getting under the covers. Clary sat down at the foot of the bed, and Jace knelt at her side.

"What kind of story do you want to hear? A princess story?" Jace asked.

"No." Jade said shaking her curls.

"An animal story?" Clary guessed.

"Nope." Jade said, popping the 'p'

Jace sighed, looking tired. "What would you like to hear?"

Jade smiled wickedly as she took both their hands and intertwined them. "I want to hear the story of how you guys fell in love."

Clary glanced over at Jace, biting her lip as she smiled nervously. Jace just smiled brightly at her. "Well, Jade. I guess it all starts when I stole your Mommy's Ring Pop..."

**The End!**

**I'm sorry to say, there wont be an epilogue. I wish I could, but, I think I'm going to take a break off writing. Get some fresh ideas. I'll still be reading and reviewing though!**

**I just wanted to say THANK YOU to all those people who reviewed, added me to their Favorite Authors/Stories and Subscribed. For this being my first story, this was great. I love you all, and goodbye till next time!**

**REVIEW for the last time! :)**

**kjs2259 :)  
**


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